Harvard Business Review's: The Essentials

A couple days ago, I finished reading Harvard Business Review’s The Essentials.  It provides 10 brief overviews major topics on business management written and co-written by various business leaders in today’s industry.  Topics range from leading change to the power in data analytics to marketing mistakes.  I thought this review would be a nice way to wrap up 2017, so here we go.  

My two favorite chapters in The Essentials would most easily be Innovation by Rosabeth Kanter and What Is Strategy? by Michael E. Porter.  

In Innovation, Kanter declares four mistakes many companies make when driving change.  These four mistakes are Strategy, Process, Structure, and Skills mistakes.  Kanter provides very solid and accessible ideas in this article, mentioned brands from Kraft Foods to IBM.  

• Strategy.  Kanter mentions that some of the current mistakes companies make when innovating is that they believe they can only improve a product, when services such as delivery, online shopping satisfaction, and customer services are also factors that contribute to how successful a company will be in innovation.  In other terms, Kanter argues that product innovation alone is not the only form of innovation and company should consider when navigating paths to better improve their business.  Another problem that arises when a company becomes too product-centric, is that they end up innovating several versions of the same product, which confuses customers and complicates internal systems.  My favorite example Kanter offers is Kraft Foods.  Rather than innovate a brand new food, Kraft changed how their mac and cheese was packaged (buy 1 box, 2 boxes, 3 boxes, 5 boxes etc. at once).  Kanter says this is not truly “innovation”.
  
• Process.  When business leaders become excessively and disruptively controlling about how much money is allocated to each project, they will most likely fail to reach their maximum potential.  Kanter argues that adding flexibility to budgeting will help better encourage innovation.  
  
• Structure.  Sometimes businesses will acquire a fledgling company, or one that is not yet as developed as the one that acquired it.  In this sense, Kanter says the main company must find ways to incorporate this new company into its current values, since they are now the same company.  In a different chapter about core capabilities, a similar idea holds true: one set of “core capabilities” that dictate everything from processes to values to general core products should permeate into all corners of the organization.  Kanter also mentions that many fledgling companies fail when acquired by a larger organization simply because these new start-ups are held to the same expectations and well established ones.  Setting individual expectations will help encourage growth and innovation in fledgling companies.
  
• Skills.  Kanter says that innovation often takes 24 to 26 months to manifest results.  However, many people stay on the project for merely 18 months; too many employees abandon the idea before real results can actually be seen.  Getting the entire group on board and committed in the idea will create a more stable team.  
  

Michael E. Porter talks strategy in his article titled What Is Strategy?.  Porter argues that strategy is not merely operational effectiveness because OE is too easily replicated.  Real strategy is not easily copied by other organizations.  Porter writes three big ideas: (1) Strategy is doing something different than competitors, (2) Making (and knowing) that there are tradeoffs to be made with the incorporation of a new strategy, (3) Strategy requires fit within the organization’s current products and services.  

Porter uses Southwest as one of his key examples that cover all these big ideas.  Southwest distinguishes itself by providing short trips on airplanes that have no food, no TV, no first class, no lines, its aircrafts consist of solely Boeing 737’s, and fast transfers.  This complies with the first ideal, because Southwest is offering a service that is genuinely different from other airlines. They offer no luxuries, instead, prioritizing speed and simplicity.  They have also created a strategy that is almost impossible for an already established airline to copy (and thus, is a strategy).  

In the past, Continental airlines attempted to create a service within its own organization that offered similar services to Southwest.  However, they ended up losing a lot of money on this idea because it contradicted their pre-existing values and strategy, thus violating the third idea of “fit” within an organization.  When Continental tried to replicate the same idea of Southwest, it failed.  While some flights offered food, others did not, and this did not make Continental a profit, since regardless of whether a fast service plane was flying or not, food was still being served on some other flight in the organization.  Thus, the luxury of having food was never entirely swept out. 

Porter says that parts of strategy can still be copied.  But a company’s entire strategy and business plan will unlikely be copied because incorporating a new strategy requires trade-offs.  In other words, a new idea cannot generate profits without giving up a current portion of strategy, because the ideas clash and do not have proper “fit”.  If Continental really desired to make successful fast service flights that cost customers as little money as possible, they would have to give up something about their current system.  Southwest only owns Boeing 737s, and nothing else.  If Continental made that same trade-off (plane size and type variation) this would have improved their chances at success.  

The Essentials is a detailed read, but is packed with information.  I have little time to read at school and I felt that every time I sat down with that book, whether it be for even 5 minutes, I could get something out of it.  A comprehensive business management book.  

Happy New Year!

2017 Wrap Up

I said that every year only passes by faster.  I can’t help but wonder does time actually move faster for everyone?  Or is there a correlation with age?  Do 12th graders feel it passing just as quickly as I do, or are they feeling it even faster?  Time is a slippery concept.  Regardless, a lot happened this year.  

In January, I started out the year thinking about me and my personality.  I like my post about my temper.  That was a big revelation for me and upon looking back today, I find my fiery, but delicate temper still stands true.  I am seldom angry, but when I am, the delicate side of me breaks down and it all comes out at once.  

February, I discovered my two selves upon reading The Inner Game of Tennis.  I recently posted about my two selves again later this year, as the overt image I preserve is quite different from my bubbly, hyper inner spirit.  I also wrote about the power of letting go; there’s only so much I can do with my time, I must remember to prioritize.  Andover is a great place where prioritization is challenged on a daily basis, from simple decisions like should I attend this club meeting even though I’ve got a test tomorrow to when I am going to give myself a break.  I also read one of my favorite books of all time, The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah.

In March, I went to Australia for spring break!  I also attended the Girls Math Collaborative and experienced the true power of synergy.

My favorite post of April was about why I suddenly chose to engage in social media, after years of evasion.  I was inspired by Thank You for Being Late by Thomas Friedman’s latest book, depicting the value in media in the 21st century.  I also wrote about big sparks, when I handed a gift over to the janitor’s at my school.  On that particular post, I wrote a Gail Godwin quote.  Looking back today, that quote still sticks with me. 

May was a busy time in eighth grade.  I was in a theatre performance called OMG in Dramafest.  It was a lovely experience though I probably wouldn’t sign up for it again.  Although I had been accepted to Andover earlier in the year, it wasn’t until May that my thoughts began to approach reality.  I was beginning to fear living alone, and actually being able to attend this school I’ve only dreamed of attending in my sleep.  

In June, I was given a small book called Rules of the Red Rubber Ball by one of my teachers.  It was a true little gift and a joy to read.  It was also the month where the perfection and inauthenticity of social media came to me.  I felt that people always look better on social media than they do in person.  I wrote a post called “We May Look Perfect in Social Media”.

In July, my family traveled to Yellowstone National Park and Grand Teton National Park.  It was a beautiful trip, and I saw so many different geological features.  I also wrote a tennis reflection, and an important lesson I’ve learned through the sport.  

My family went to New York City at the end of August before school.  Unfortunately I didn’t post about it.  My favorite post from August was another tennis post.  At camp, I met two very wonderful coaches named Bryce and Alex, who taught us not only the technical side of tennis but also the mental side.   These lessons have carried on with me beyond the court.  

September was my first month at Andover.  All my posts in September were about becoming accustomed to my new lifestyle.  I love, love, love the freedom of this school.  

In October, I was in Grasshopper, one of the biggest productions of the school year.  I gave a speech!  I also began to realize the importance–and the fun–in learning languages.  

November was a rickety month for me emotionally.  I had found out some kids were bad mouthing me in school, and after a talk with my advisor, I found ways to counter that and stand up for myself.  I wrote a well-received post called “How I’m Staying True to Myself”.  I also particularly enjoyed my following post inspired by the movie Flipped.  Everyone’s dipped in something different and that partially contributes to who we are. 

My birthday was in December.  Earlier this month, I wrote a post about life and how it never seems to get easier.  Contrary to belief, many people think the teens, 20s and 30s are particularly hard and life relieves itself when your 80.  I think health and wellness and retirement become vital things to worry about.  I suppose I may never live to be as carefree as I was before I started school.  

Well, that’s a wrap up of 2017!  Onto 2018.  

Review: Before We Were Yours

Today I finished the novel Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate.  It is a heart-touching, fast-paced read, grounded in horrific and dark times in US history.  

Before We Were Yours is about the Tennessee Children’s Home Society, run by Georgia Tann from the 1920s to 1950.  Georgia Tann is a historical character, who is known today for notoriously changing the culture of child adoption.  As illustrated in the novel, Tann was a well respected woman for her work in saving children and pairing them to good families and acknowledged by celebrities and even supported by politicians.  What the nation failed to realize soon enough was that the orphans at the Tennessee Children’s Home Society were stolen by Tann from poor families to be sold to the rich.  

Tann stole the children and babies in the cruelest and most dishonest way.  She was viewed for having “saved” children.  The world thought she was very kind and her deed was exceptionally kind hearted.  She was even given awards for her charitable deeds in helping children find new homes.  However, she blackmailed families.  In Before We Were Yours, Wingate tells how Georgia had inner connections in hospitals and with government officials.  When children were born, nurses at hospitals would report to the mothers that the babies were stillborn, and these babies would be transferred under Tann’s care.  Tann would have mothers sign papers, saying she would arrange a special funeral for the babies, when in reality, she was going to kidnap them to sell.    

Throughout a span of 30 years, Georgia Tann kidnapped around 5000 children (NY Post), and it is estimated that around 500 died.  If children were not sold soon enough, they would be locked in the house and left to starve.  Tann was caught in 1950, when a female social worker noticed how the infant mortality rate in Tennessee was the highest in the entire US, despite all the great work Tann was doing.  Tann could only help children in the state of Tennessee, so the infant numbers didn’t add up.  The social worker requested an investigation be conducted.  The nation was shocked by the results, and to this day, many families are still separated by Tann’s ruthless business.  Georgia Tann died of cancer three days before the results of the investigation were released to the public, and as a result, no one was ever punished for the crimes.  

I myself am so shocked by these events.  As I was reading the novel, I couldn’t stop asking myself, how is this even possible?  And how could it have gone on for so long?  Did no one really know?  Families that were perfectly well were forever torn apart.  Children were starved to death.  What’s more, Georgia Tann’s greed is unbelievable, as portrayed in the novel.  One scene that stood out to me, was when one a family adopted a child, she went back and threatened that the child was being requested by a close relative and high fees would have to be repaid in order to keep the child.  Additional fees on top of high adoption fees.  In addition, Tann also lied about the children’s history, such as making up stories about their birth parent’s education and careers.  Throughout the entire read, I felt like these children weren’t even being treated as humans.  Rather, objects whose worth could be determined by hair color, eye color and overall appearance. 

Although Before We Were Yours tells of a historical event that occured 60 years ago in US history, the story itself and the characters are fictional.  Lisa Wingate writes of two families: the river gypsies and a US Senator’s family, the Staffords.  She crafts a brilliant story illustrating how the Tennessee Children’s Home Society connected these two families who seemingly come from total opposite ends of the world in a clever back-to-back narration between the past and the present.  

A riveting piece that will grip one’s kindness and heart from the first page to the last.

Life never comes back to where it started

I find myself reflecting upon work loads between every grade.  Inevitably, the workload only gets heavier and heavier every year.  

I suppose workload is always proportional to the grade one is in.  This past term I’ve been spending about five hours per night on homework, which is without a doubt overwhelming.  In addition, I am enrolled in a fitness class, I take piano lessons, which lends itself to daily trips to Graves to practice, and I do a couple different clubs.  Life is going on a roller coaster, checklist after checklist.  When I stop to think about what I’ve accomplished, I feel very busy.  But when I think back to previous years, I remember feeling very similarly, as if I am always working at my maximum.    

I talked to my friend about this and she said that busyness is proportional to grade; I will forever be busy.  For example, I remember in eighth grade being very overwhelmed with work and extra circulars.  I thought I’d reached my max.  But now that I’m older, the workload capacity has increased proportionally to my new max.  Each year, I attain new “maxs”.  I will have to hope that this is sustainable when I enter future years of high school. 

But life doesn’t only get harder academically.  In the workforce, paying taxes, managing money, meeting deadlines, and maintaining a balanced lifestyle will be the new “max” I have to reach.   By the time people are old, they’ll have to manage their health.  Keeping the body and mind healthy will become the new “max”.  

I thought life would eventually slow down with age.  Life would become more stable, and there would be fewer things to worry about.  I thought I maybe life would get easier, and that maybe now is just a difficult time.  Stability is what I hoped for.  Maybe I've got stability.  Nevertheless, when I stop and reflect, I realize that once life has taken off, it never really comes back to where it started. 

The power of student initiative

My art teacher told my class something very interesting about his philosophy in teaching.  He said that we, the students, dictate what the teacher teaches.  

I’m taking a very difficult art class right now, Art 311: Design for Living, Innovate and Fabricate.  It is filled primarily 11 and 12th graders.  It is a product design class which focuses on improving existing designs for products or innovating new customer friendly ones, using 3D printing and laser cutting.  However, we have to learn a 3D modeling program called Rhinoceros in order to be to model these products with a laser cutter or 3D printer.  

It is a difficult program to learn, especially on Mac, since it is command based.  As a result, I have to learn many different commands, how to manipulate what I want, and get the shapes and curves that I want.  Furthermore, after shapes are created, we must learn how to create them with precision.  There are tutorials which we watch for homework, but outside of those videos, we are expected to practice at the computer lab for homework.  Many students do not take this initiative, and I myself, who endeavors to go 3 times per week, am still struggling to take full advantage of the various commands the program has to offer.  

On Wednesday, seeing how little we had progressed in program fluency, my teacher spoke to us about being motivated.  He said that in the real world, no one will be there to watch every baby step of the way to learning a new program.  He says that much of his current knowledge in Rhino comes from self-learning and self initiation.  Or more simply stated, being proactive.  He says this is one of the key lessons in this course, being able to design something without much guidance, be able to identify issues with the design, and later, problem solve around these faults.  Then he mentioned something about his teaching philosophy 311.  He said that if we, the students, do not take initiative to learn the basic commands and organizational methods in Rhino, then he will be spending his time and energy in helping us review these commands and controls.  However, if we find the time to master these ourselves outside of class, he can focus on giving us conceptual, design, and design feedback in class.  In essence, we control how and what we get out of this class.  I have been thinking about this for the past few days and I wonder whether this is true in other classes.  Students control what the teacher teaches to a certain extent.

Living without inspiration

A banal week.  It was busy, busy, busy, and more busy. This is the last week before break and I had 4 assessments, 1 essay, and 1 discussion to prepare for among 6 courses.  A couple years ago, I wrote about the power of inspiration and how that plays a major role in what my life.  This week, having been bogging down in work, I spent very little time socializing, did not practice the piano every night, skipped dinner twice this week and worked past 11 every night.  It was difficult, and I honestly kept asking myself why am I doing this.  

Bogged down in work, I have found little time to read the WSJ, which I usually do in the morning.  I found little time to talk with my friends and check in.  In my dorm, after final sign-in, I’d go straight to my room, shut the door, and begin working until lights out.  I find little time for inspiration.  I didn’t call my parents like I usually do every night and I didn’t want to waste time listening to music before bed.  I used to believe that I would find inspiration everyday, and I envisioned I would use it to fuel the next day and to motivate me.  I’m realizing that the work load only increases and having to prioritize, I’m going to have to learn to live without inspiration.

Feelings about weather

 Snow is finally here.  It was interesting how in math class last week, my teacher asked everyone in class to predict when it would first snow.  I predicted January 17.  Oh how wrong I was.  The weather means everything to me.  I might score 100% on a test, but if the weather outside is gloomy, gray and cold, that 100 will feel lesser than 100 on a bright and sunny day.  

Upon rumination, I suppose my least favorite days are the biting, windy, and chilly ones, that have neither rain nor snow.  The wind on these days bites my legs as I walk from the library to the music hall for practice.  On these days, no matter how much I wear, the wind seems to penetrate without a problem through all my layers.  I can also hear the wind when I’m indoors.  It is banging against the windows and there’s a forceful whistling.

I find it warmer on rainy days.  Even though my outdoor activity is limited, when I do find the need to walk outside, I find it is warmer.  My fingers aren’t frostbitten by the cold; I just find myself soaking wet when I get indoors.  However, listening to the sound of raindrops plummeting onto the windowpanes is exceptionally calming.  Of all forms of weather, I believe rain is the most pleasant to the ear.

Sunny weather is of course my favorite, but it is on these days when the temperature makes all the difference between a pleasant sunny day or otherwise.  I am most happy when the temperature clocks in between 60 and 70 degrees.  I can walk out in short sleeves comfortably, be active outdoors while not being drowned in sweat.  When it’s sunny outside, the rays of the sun find its way through the windows of the room and naturally brighten up the room in a way that is neither too white-lighted or too yellow; the color of the sunlight coming in through the windows is bright but not overly extreme which no lightbulb is even close to matching.  It’s perfection.

Snowy weather is one of my favorite weathers.  At Andover, the snow makes campus particularly beautiful, more so than when I was at home.  The way the snow falls onto Sam Phil and the steps of all the academic buildings, the way the snow falls on campus is absolutely stunning.  What I also love most about snowy nights is that when it is usually supposed to be pitch black, the light from the street lamps reflects off the snow and the entire outdoors feels warmer and brighter.  I feel as if the sun never completely sets on days where there is snow outside.  There’s always a faint, glowing light outdoors whenever I look outside my window on a snowy night.  It’s one of the most beautiful, and quintessential aspects of New England.  At least I didn’t have to wait until January 17.  

Some pictures the following morning:

Probably my favorite photo I took this morning!

To whom does my Self 2 show?

In February I wrote about my two selves: Self 1 and Self 2.  

My Self 1 is the person who everyone sees on the outside.  Upon revisiting my post about this topic from earlier this year, I realize that my Self 1 has also changed.  I am no longer perceived the way I was perceived in Middle School.  I suppose my Self 1 has become more reserved over the year.  I’ve been told I’m often perceived as stern, a little intimidating, always studying, and consistently “well-put together” when it comes to physical presentation.   

Self 2 is the person who’s behind Self 1.  It’s the side of me that loves to have fun, crack jokes that end up being funny because they’re bad, and party.  It’s the side of me that relaxes and is free from the social pressures that Self 1 feels.  The real dilemma for me is to whom do I reveal my Self 2.

I kept thinking this week why I don’t reveal my Self 2 to everyone and I suppose it’s because Self 1 is the professional side of me, the reliable side, the side that delivers results. Self 2 is slow to reveal because it lives under the leadership of Self 1. I suppose one my fears is appearing like someone who isn’t a result deliverer; someone who doesn’t get tasks done.  Then I thought last night, to whom do I show my Self 2?  So I thought about who knows my outgoing side?  Who knows my fun-loving, party-enjoying side?  Those are the people who have seen Self 2. You’ll definitely know it if you’ve seen both sides.  I’m serious and thoughtful in most circumstances, but in those rare moments, those who have seen me scream with laughter, those who have seen me rock to a rhythm, those who have seen me act carefree and almost too chill, are the people whom I know I trust.  

Birthday

Filled with fun.

My first birthday at Andover.

I had my first music class today

and couldn’t stop laughing at the jokes my teacher cracked

About vowels in a name.

He said you can never have too many vowels

In a name, unless your name is something like

Uoooiiiaa.

I hung out with my friends after class,

And took a long walk in nature.

Laughed too hard at the results in beauty tests

And learned how to dance with my friend at night.

Got in touch with a faculty advisor

In hopes of reviving a club for this term.

Listened to a mashup recording of “There’s Nothing Holding Me Back”

Sang by 50 different people super high pitched (and out of tune)

Ate too many brownies

For my b-day celebration,

And had my first plate

Of stir-fry here at Andover.  

Home vs. Boarding School

Home is so different from school.  Home is a place where I feel a relaxing ambience.  This past week has been my first full week back at home since school started and even though I had previously returned home for appointments of various sorts, the previous returns had been filled with an eminent feel of stress and anxiety.  This week, it has been very relaxing at home.  I have definitely cooled down my nerves from my first term at boarding school.

Home is very different from school.  I like both for different reasons.  I feel this is a perfect time to reflect on this topic as I have been fully immersed in boarding school for a solid term.  

HOME

At home, I have more indoor space.  I am one who deeply appreciates being able to move around.  My room is twice as big at home, and I have a whole house to myself.  I like to study in different rooms so being able to choose where I want to study is always a plus.  I find I am a little bit lazier at home.  In general, I consider myself a very active person and many would say they see me always on the move at school.  At home, sometimes I don’t leave the house until 11 AM and that’s usually to go grocery shopping or walk to get lunch.  There’s also no lights out.  Although it seems like such a minute detail, lights out can be stressful.  I often find myself at 10:51 PM rushing to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed before 11 PM.  And…there’s movies at home.  Initially I didn’t miss movies, but after 3 months of abstaining, it was unbearably difficult to always find myself turning to exercise for mental relaxation instead of a movie.  

BOARDING SCHOOL

Of course I’ve mentioned some of the cons to boarding school, such as lights out at 11 PM and the lack of entertainment.  However, there are many pros to living on campus, the most important being that I am outside more.  My dorm is simply too small for me to stay in there past 9 AM on any day, including the weekends.  I wake up earlier and go on morning runs downtown or wake up to play tennis on the weekends; I start my days earlier.  I like how I’m always surrounded by my friends as well.  There are simply more people to talk with and I’m beginning to appreciate that, having grown up an only child.  I can also make my own schedule and decide when I want to be in the dorm and when I want to be elsewhere studying.  I really appreciate the freedom boarding school gives.  I suppose another benefit of living in a boarding school where I have more things to balance on my plate, being responsible with time has become more and more critical.  

At the end of the day, my dorm will always just be my dorm.  Home is where I truly find comfort.  I miss the weekend outings and walks in Boston.  And did I mention the shower pressure at home is better?

Be thankful for what you have

What I'm most afraid of

My first term at Andover came to an end this past Friday.  Time seems to have flown right over my head.  2.5 months felt more like one month.  And just like that, I’ve got 1 term down and two more to go.  

I’m dedicated practitioner of showering at night.  Every evening I’m in the shower, I think of about what I did that day.  The list of my daily accomplishments always seems too short.  Days pass like that, and even though there is 24 hours in between my showerings, the days that pass still build up.  That’s how one term flew by.  One term flew by and when I stop to think about my accomplishments this term, I feel like I haven’t done much.  I’ve been in Grasshopper, successfully found three clubs I feel committed to [which I’m sure will change with time], and I’ve adapted a healthy lifestyle that involves taking care of my physical and mental health.  I suppose this is enough for freshman fall.

The hard part is that this previous summer, everyday, I would think about the clubs I wanted to start.  I would think about how many friends I wanted to make and I would think about the reputation I wanted to build for myself.  This summer I also made a commitment to go to as many guest speaker series as I could manage; it’s only been two out of four thus far.  I made a list of a couple courses I’m really interested in taking and all the clubs I want to manage.

My biggest fear is that one day I will wake up in bed and realize that it’s my last month at Andover during senior year.  This list of stuff I wanted to do hasn’t been accomplished because I’ve been so caught up in studies that I haven’t found time to address them.  I find myself graduating having grown very little, having accomplished little, and having not positively impacted the community.  That’s my biggest fear, and with my first term flying away as it did, I’m finding it’s more critical than ever to act and make decisions that are both quick and effective.  

Personality test after every term

I’m a big fanatic in personality differences.  I’m intrigued by the power of personalities in shaping the decisions one makes everyday.  Last year, my friends introduced me to the famous Myer-Briggs personalities test.  There are 16 possible personalities as 4 characteristics are evaluated.  

My friends showed me a website called 16 Personalities, which is the same evaluation as the Myer-Briggs method.  You take a 100 question test and based on your answers you are given percentages for the following 10 characteristics.

Introversion/Extraversion (I/E): Introverts are recharged by spending time alone.  Extraverts gain energy from other people.

Observant/Intuitive (S/N): Intuitive people are visionary and tend to think outside the box.  Often, they are the most creative ones in the room.  Observant people tend to be more drawn towards practicality and they focus on facts and observation.

Thinking/Feeling (T/F): Feeling people are emotionally driven, while Thinking people are driven more by logic. Feeling people also tend to be more empathetic while Thinking people often see being efficient and rational as more important.

Judging/Prospecting (J/P): Prospecting people are the improvisers.  They like to think on the spot and are extremely adaptable.  Judging people are highly organized, and like to create clear plans.  

A final characteristic describes identity which is on a scale of Assertiveness/Turbulence.  Assertive people are self-confident, manage stress and work well under pressure.  However, this characteristic doesn’t influence the personality one gets on this test.

I’m planning on retaking this test at the end of every term to track how my personality is changing.  The test incorporates some very interesting questions that really made me question my own values and work ethic.  Last year, I was a Protagonist, which is ENFJ, meaning I was extrovertive, intuitive, feeling and judging.  This week, when I retook the quiz, I got the Executive personality which is ESTJ, meaning I am extrovertive, observant, thinking and judging.  My results suggest that I am coming more practical.  The decisions I make are influenced less by my emotions, but more by logic.  I will keep taking this test since it only takes about 10 minutes, but I learn a lot about how I work and make decisions.  More so, it’s about tracking how I’m changing from year to year.  

Screen shot of my results

What are you dipped in?

In sixth grade, I read a touching teenage romance book called Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen (who is one of my favorite kids book novelists!).  After reading the novel, I watched the movie online.  I was touched…by both the writing and the screenplay.  This past week, I began thinking about one quote that is important enough to make both the screenplay and the novel as I was thinking about staying true to my sometimes peculiar self this past week.  

“Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss.  Every once in awhile, you find someone who’s iridescent.  And when you do, nothing will ever compare.”  

As I was thinking about this quote, I added more categories to what is mentioned in the movie of coatings that each individual can be dipped into. I believe our this partially shapes how we are perceived by other people as it closely correlates with our personalities and thus, should be fairly specific.  I’ve added “sparkles”, “matte” and “dichroic” as in dichroic glass.  

It’s really up to an individual to define these categories and they will be defined differently from person to person.  I like to think of the images and textures of these various coatings. Then I like to put them into context with personalities.  

I see “matte” people as mentally strong, as people who have a thick skin and rebound well from failure.  I see “gloss” people as refined, perhaps a little introverted, but there’s always something about a “gloss” that distinguishes them from every other “gloss”.  I see “satin” as people who are extrovert, a blend of diligence and fun, and people who are overtly kind. I see "sparkles" as people who are extrovert, fun loving, easy going, and laugh a lot; they're often the life of the party and the spirit lifters. "Dichroic" people are introvertedly brilliant, they know more than they let on, but everyone knows there's something special about them. Of course, all these interpretations are up to individuals to make and will differ greatly from each other.

I’m positive I’ve met people of all these coatings, but I also have yet to find someone who’s iridescent.  And I can’t help but wonder, what am I dipped in?

How I'm staying true to myself

As a freshman at a boarding school that has kids who may be up to five years older than me, I’m beginning to feel the struggles of being the youngest.  These past two weeks, I’ve been trying to come to terms with myself upon recognition that some students in the school were talking behind my back.  I've been thinking about how to approach this situation and I've been formulating how I'm feeling this past week.

I think I can fairly say I’m a daring freshman.  I’ve been outspoken during club meetings [especially investment club], I’m not afraid to talk to upperclassmen, I still wear my BlueCard on a lanyard around my neck, I study in the tacitly circumscribed “upperclassmen” area at the library, I performed in Grasshopper, which is 95% esoteric to upperclassmen.  Last week, I was told that these traits are what make me an easy target.

Upon leaving BB&N, my advisor from eighth told me “stay true to yourself.”  This is me; the double Patagonia, public speaking loving, BlueCard wearing girl who doesn’t let age determine whom she can make friends with.  That is me.  When I found out that some upperclassmen and kids in my grade were talking behind my back, it was hard to continue to follow this advice, to stay true to myself.  I was targeted for not sticking to the freshman norms.  

I talked with my advisor from Andover.  We had a long conversation about how to combat this and at the end, we thought the best plan of action was to help me build mental fortitude.  

My advisor told me a story that is meant to act as guidance for helping me combat hurtful criticism.  My advisor played ice hockey for Harvard and later in the Olympics, and she remembered how when she was an ice hockey player, she was always frustrated when her coach called her out.  Her coach would always tell her what she should do in each play, and what she should do to improve.  My advisor was very annoyed by this, and she asked her coach why me?  Why tell me this?  Why not talk to other players?  Her coach replied, “because I know you can do it.”

It’s because some people feel that I can do it, I can break the well established social norms for freshman at this school and they feel threatened by my assertiveness and my confidence in what I do.  I genuinely feel that freshman are very separated from the rest of the school: we’re like our own clan.  My advisor told me it’s all an act of protection and safety.  When someone [me in this case], finds the gut to step outside of this clan, of the school norms, people feel threatened.  And for many people, their method to combat this feeling of unsafeness is to bad mouth and bring down that person who’s trying to step up.  

If other people are trying to take me down, it means I’m doing a good job, both stepping out of social norms and staying true to myself.  If others are trying to take me down, it means they feel that I’m succeeding.  If I’m succeeding, I can’t give up now and turn back into that freshman clan; I’ve got to keep going.  

To the indecisive

I have a friend who is indecisive.  Decision making is not a strong suit and it’s something he does not like to do.  Even the simplest decisions cannot be made by this friend of mine.  I’m trying to encourage him to make decisions.  Yesterday, when walking back from town, I asked him, do you want to go to the library or back to Isham?  I am not exaggerating: this decision took him 5 minutes to make.  There were both pros and cons to going back to Isham or directly to the library, and I felt ambivalent towards both.  Nevertheless, this decision took him at least 5 minutes to make while we were walking back. When he made the decision to go to Isham so I could sign in and pick up some sheet music, I asked him, which route should we take [there were three options].  This decision took him less time to make, but he continued to go back and forth between which road we took back to Isham.  At last he’d made a decision.  

I’m a proponent of the power of decision making.  There are simply too many opportunities and options in life of which route we are to follow each and every day.  Sean Covey sums it up perfectly, we are the pilots of our life and we drive which direction we want to go each day.  Decisions from when to wake up, to what order to do finish my homework, to what equipment to use at the gym.  I like to think that each decision I make today will impact tomorrow; everything is interconnected.  

Yet I understand that not everyone is like me.  Not everyone has an unequivocal plan of daily action, and even though I do, it doesn’t always unfold the way I’d plan.  But for my friend and for those who are indecisive, through rumination, I think I have one thing to say about decision making:

it doesn’t have to be complicated, but if we make the best decision each time we are put into that box, in the long run, we won’t be faced with as many critical, precarious decision making moments.

How my bad week relieved itself

This week was indisputably stressful.  It began on the wrong foot, continued on the wrong foot, and yesterday, everything was resolved.  When I look back on this past week, I keep turning to something I wrote about earlier this year: nothing is as bad as it seems.  Too often, I

Photo I took when I was trying to convince myself that life is beautiful

find myself overdramatizing the outcomes of a situation.  I let myself dream up all the worst outcomes, and these potential outcomes add additional, unnecessary stress to me.    

I believe attitudes are contagious, which is why I try to avoid sharing negative thoughts on this blog.  However, this is quite relevant to my life right now.

My week in a sum [or more, all the bad things that have happened this week]:

• Monday: woke up to find I’d knocked over my bamboo plant on my desk when I was sleeping.  Soaked my phone and my iPad.  My iPad case wasn’t functioning.  I was very worried about that.  I stressed I would have to buy a new one and that I wouldn’t be able to use my iPad for a long time because it was broken.  That was too extreme: I can still use my iPad even if the keyboard case doesn’t work.   
• Tuesday: I found out I’d lost my music binder.  This binder contains approximately 5 years worth of music learning in it.  It has two music books and tons of random music sheets.  I had lost it all.  I felt I had lost all the hard work I’d put into the instrument because that was my last connection to what I’d learnt from my old piano teacher, who taught me for almost 10 years.  It wasn’t the music that was valuable to me: it was the fingerings and the notes and the ideas that were written on them about how to play the music.  This incident made me realize how much my music means to me.  I don’t think this epiphany would have come to me if I didn’t lose my music.
• Wednesday: I thought one my friends was talking negatively about me behind my back.  I was hurt that this would happen.  I ignored my friend for a solid two days until Friday.
• Thursday: I worked on my math homework that afternoon, but found I had a question.  I went to math study center at night to ask for some help.  I didn’t get the help I needed, but the worst part was when I returned back to my dorm, I found I’d left all the math homework I’d completed that afternoon in the math room when I went to ask for help!

Friday was the big hitter when everything I thought could possibly go wrong regained itself.  I found my music binder that night in the practice rooms at Graves.  Then I found out my iPad keyboard was still working after completely drying out for a couple days.  And my math homework was short enough that I had time to redo it all [it was good review].  As for my friend, I found the gut to approach and talk about the situation.  It was a crucial conversation that we had, because there was a misunderstanding between us.  I’m still grateful that I read Crucial Conversations this summer, as I’ve once again found myself employing the tactics used.  

Few things in life are as bad as they seem.  When I have a lot of stuff to do, I make lists using Reminders on my phone.  There always seems to be a lot of things to do in my head, but when it’s written down, the same mental checklist seems shorter.  This is how I’m going to approach Finals week.