It's okay to change your mind

On Monday, my dad and I drove over to Brandeis University for my tennis practice to find out that it had been cancelled.  We had not been notified that camp wasn’t running so my dad and I ended up driving in the car for 1 hour.  My dad recently discovered a new podcast, called Planet Money [which is a section of NPR news] that he claims is intellectually

stimulating and claims it a good way to pass time spent in a car.  Lasting around 20-30 minutes, these podcasts make good, informative use of the time lost during transportation.

My dad played a podcast titled On Second Thought, which explains why it’s okay to change your mind.  I relistened to the podcast today to help myself remember and capture the details.  Three stories were told, one about an economist, another about a novelist, and the final about a man who built a website dedicated purely to helping people change their minds.  I’m going to share the story about the economist and how she changed her mind since I am fascinated with how it links science and hope together. However, I’ve attached the link to this podcast for further listening.

~THE ECONOMIST

Catherine Baker is an economist at Harvard and she has always held the belief that Medicaid should be extended to everyone in need; everyone should have access to medical insurance.  Baker focused her study primarily on Emergency Rooms:  she argued that many people who did not have medical insurance went to the ER room since it was cheaper to be charged a large bill in the emergency room when needed than be charged for medical insurance annually.  And these people who didn’t have medical insurance didn’t necessarily always have emergencies…some came for annual checkups which ends up swarming the line for people who do have emergencies.  

In some states, Medicaid is granted to people by lottery. So if you’re lucky and your ticket is pulled, you are granted health insurance.  Baker conducted a study in Oregon which tracked the people who got the Medicaid and how many times they went to the emergency room. The people part of this study were a perfect bunch, some had received Medicaid, others were denied Medicaid, and others could afford health insurance themselves.  She and her team discovered after calculating their data twice [since the results seemed to lend itself to a mathematical miscalculation ], that surprisingly, people who received Medicaid went to the Emergency Room more often by 40% more, than people who didn’t receive Medicaid.  Not only do they go to the Emergency Room more, they also go to their regular doctors more often as well!  Baker was shocked and a little bit confused as to why the results of the study were so contradicting to her initial intuition. As she later reasoned and shared with Planet Money, she believes that since the people receiving Medicaid no longer have to pay for their care, they are using it more and more often to ensure absolute health.  It also models a basic principle of economics: the less you have to pay for something, the likely you’re going to use it.  

Baker found herself changing her mind as a scientist, though this contradicted her hope as a citizen.  She realizes that she had hoped that people who received Medicaid went to the Emergency Room less.  However, the science behind it revealed otherwise.  Baker was split between science and being a citizen. ~

What this podcast highlights at the beginning is that it is okay to change your mind.  I remember in history class this year, during our “four corner” debates, I found myself switching to a different corner sometimes after considering the perspectives of people in a different corner.  Luckily, in our history class, people were very respectful of these changes. Recently, I've also been discovering my fashion sense changing. I used to be [and still am] a conservative dresser. I feel odd and out of self when I wear a particular style of clothing and I thought it was "popular" girl style. However, this past month, I've been trying to transition my style to something a bit more trendy. In essence, my perception of "trendy" clothing is changing and is no longer associated with "popular" girl style: it's personal style. In our society though, it is socially constructed to be bad if one changes his/her mind.  Name calling is even involved (“wishy-washy”, “backflipper” in Australia, “U-turner” in England etc].  However, I believe we must remember that none of us are always right and that it is important to understand that when one changes their mind, it is a good thing, showing how they are open to new ideas.  Let’s celebrate “wishy-washy” people.  

How things come to be

It continues to surprise me how things come to be, or more, how people discover things they like.  Whether it be a random request or a thoroughly researched hobby, it’s how we discover these that amazes me.

One example I always think back to is tennis.  I don’t really know how I discovered my desire to play the sport…all I clearly remember is saying to my mom the summer when I was eight years old, “Mom, I want to play tennis”.  This request, in my memory, seemed to pop out of the blue. It was one of those summers that I didn’t want to flow with my normal rotation of camps, which had previously included MIT Day Camp, ID Tech Camp, sewing camp and acting camp.  I wanted to try something different, yet I don’t know how I came upon the conclusion of trying tennis over another sport.  

As it turns out, I’ve kept up the tennis that I began to learn that first summer when I held a racket for the first time at age eight.  At first, I playing only during the summer, slowly integrating training into the school year and now I play all year round.  For me, it feels like a lifelong sport.  I know I’ll probably be playing it for the rest of my life, though it still always makes me curious as to how I first felt the desire to play…tennis?… In retrospect it seems like a random request to burn up time that has somehow weaved itself into my everyday life.  

We may look "perfect" in social media

Social media is a finicky and portrayals are almost never in alignment with who we really are.  After all, are we always the same on media as we are in person?

This past week on Instagram, I posted a picture of the me and the other three Banner Students of our grade leading the line in graduation with the middle school banner. At BB&N, it is typically considered honorable to be nominated a Banner Student, and at graduation, our duty is to lead the eighth graders into the gym.  I got the most likes I have ever gotten on a single post from this picture.  

But when I looked back at the picture yesterday, it made me realize how “perfect” I may have seemed to an outsider who didn’t know me well, being clad in an ivory white lace dress, hidden behind a layer of makeup, walking stiffly in four inch heels.  It is deeply embedded in my values that perfection doesn’t exist.  I believe there can always be a better.  However, this I realized, was what social media failed to express: that perfection did not exist.  

As I was scrolling through other people’s posts yesterday, this idea began to take a fuller shape.  No one, it seemed to me, posted pictures of “trouble”, “struggle”, or “challenge”.  Most people posted pictures smiling after climbing a mountain, relaxing at the beach with iced tea, or dancing at a pop music concert.  In essence, people posted pictures of themselves at their best, which had lead me to believe that social media can be a little bit one sided.  Who wants to post pictures of trouble, struggle, failure and challenge?  Our true selves aren’t accurately represented in media as we are in person.  Media has the power to hide our struggles and our failures, sharing only the best parts of ourselves.  

For example, let’s say that someone posted a picture/video of themselves finishing a marathon, speedily running through the finish line, receiving a host of cheers and smiling brightly after running 26.2 miles.  Viewers are inclined to see a radiant, successful and proud runner.  In addition, this same person who just ran the marathon, may have posted a picture of themselves graduating from a top university, holding their degree in their hands.  Then, they may have posted a picture of themselves at a massive pop music concert, dancing and singing along happily.  As viewers of this person’s profile, we may forget that they are still human.  They may seem “perfect” to us, being smart, athletic, yet equally knowing of how to balance this all out with fun.  An honest confession: I know I am one who is easily envies people who find this harmonious balance of intellect, athleticism, and enjoyment of life.  Sometimes I do not see the arduous training regimen that went into the training for the marathon, or the hours spent studying to obtain admission and finally the hard work that went into graduating from that top university.  We are inclined to see only the product of this hard work.  The work behind all these achievements is too easily hidden.  

I believe as I further interact with social media, I must remember not only to see the picture that’s being taken, but the work that got the person where they are right now.  I must remember to see that most of the time, people worked for what they have.  Everybody has flaws, even if these flaws lack representation through social media.  After all, we are all human, and nothing worth having comes without struggle.

Father's Day Quote

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me." ~Jim Valvano

This was the quote of the day for Father's Day 2017.  I believe Valvano spoke wisely, but if I were to add on my own part to Valvano's quote, I would add:

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could given another person, he believed in me and he taught me through power of example."  Dad, I hope that small addition will make an impact in your day.   Happy Father's Day and thank you for everything you do for me each day to leave me with something better.  

My love for being busy

I try not to say that I’m bored.  I don’t believe in this phrase: I’m bored.  I like to occupy myself with something to do, whether that be independently reading Wall Street Journal, playing tennis, learning math, or browsing through Instagram.  I love to be busy.

Yet last week, after getting out of school for summer break, I found myself feeling a little “bored.”  Of course I didn’t directly say that out loud, but I felt like I had a lot of free time on my hands.  These past few days I’ve been brainstorming ways in which I can find more purpose in my 3 month long summer break.  

First, I’ve officially began learning a little bit of Algebra 2 in preparation for high school.  I’ve been going chapter and section by section like I do in school.  I’m being slowly introduced to new topics and concepts, while keeping the math load light.  My hope–and purpose in working over the summer–is one, to make sure I don’t forget what I’ve covered in eighth grade, two, to make sure my academic mindset stays fresh and has an easier time returning to school, and three, to make sure that I continue to learn new things these next three months.

My dad also purchased the Arduino board, which is a kit designed to provide an introduction into electrical engineering.  He and I have been working together at night to explore the various projects. Here’s the story behind it:  Since a young age, I’ve been quite resistant to learning about coding/engineering/tech/social media etc.  I found little interest in the opportunities technology leveraged to promote more ergonomic lifestyles for humans. Simultaneously I remember wanting to be a policewoman in third grade, a writer in fourth to fifth grade, a professor from sixth to mid-seventh grade, and now, I’m interested in investing in the field of business.  In other words, as the years have gone by, I’ve been exposed to new things, the product being my perception of who I want to be are evolving alongside evidenced by my evolving sense of what I want to do when I grow up.  I’m beginning to see the importance of not resisting learning new things or change because having a bit of knowledge in another area can’t hurt, can it?  

This reminds me of a really good example my dad gave me a couple months ago.  He said I’ve always been obsessed with raspberries [meaning I have a box almost everyday;)] and for a while, that was the only fruit I ate…until I tried a mango a few summers ago.  I continue to eat my raspberries but now, I’ve found a new love; mangoes.  My introduction to electrical engineering is probably not going to be a career I’m interested in pursuing but it’s something I feel I still need to learn the basics, because electrical engineering especially, is a very applicable skill.  It’s like my mango.  

I’ve also been investing some time into fashion designing and stone art.  Last summer I became interested in fashion design and I’ve continued.  I like to think it keeps the creative juices flowing.  Stone art meanwhile, is something new I’ve been trying out.  I found some flattish black rocks in my backyard and have been decorating them with metallic paint-like markers and sharpies, then writing little messages on the back like be someone’s sunshine, or wisdom and kindness are better together, in other words, another form of inspiration.  I’m thinking about ways in which I can pull this idea together to make public art.  

Of course, I will still be blogging, playing tennis, reading different books and watching episodes of The Man in the High Castle on amazon prime.  So really, when I reflect on the different things I’m trying this accomplish this summer, I think I can still proudly say: I’m busy.  And if I find myself on the verge of saying I’m bored, I will remember that there are endless lists challenges, tasks, ways to entertain yourself, things to learn, books to read, and fun things to do in life that simply being bored just doesn’t qualify as being on that list.  

Friendship

I’m reflecting on my time at BB&N.  I see many ways in which I’ve grown as a student, as a person and as a member of an ever-developing  society.  BB&N has taught me is the importance of asking for help and that it doesn’t mean I am incapable.  These past three years at BB&N have taught me, as my seventh grade advisor said, that it is the successful students who ask for help.   I like to think of it as not that I’m incapable, but that I care about understanding.  

As a reflect, I think about the friendships I have with my tight knit friend circle.  Today I’ve been pondering over how people make friends with each other.  It amazes me how individuals choose their friends and how they become closer.  Coming into BB&N in sixth grade, I remember knowing 3 people, all of whom I’d met at tennis camp previous summers.  But the majority of my friend group I’ve known through meeting them in classes, and somehow, my consciousness told me that this was someone I want to surround myself with.  Somehow I made that decision.  

Similar interests are an obvious reason two people may be inclined to be attracted to one another.  Similar mindsets, similar tastes, similar beliefs…similarities in general draw people together.  But I feel there’s more.  Perhaps it has to do with how we respond to each other’s needs.  Maybe it has to do with how we present ourselves on the first day of school, moreover, it’s quite scary to think that my closest friends are often times the people I sit next to on the first day of school.  Or maybe it’s intuition and gut-feelings.  I’m not certain.  But friendship is something I will surely be observing in my next four years in high school and more specifically, how I formed close friendships with the people I do.    

Rules of the Red Rubber Ball

One of my beloved teachers gave me a gift this past week at graduation: a small pocketbook called Rules of the Red Rubber Ball [whose content greatly exceeds the book’s physical size]  I’m incredibly grateful for this gift.  This book offers guidelines to helping one find their passion and tips that bring one closer to these goals.  Truly a joy in itself and a must read.

The story begins with the author, Kevin Carroll’s reflection about his work in the field of sports.  Carroll begins by introducing a quote said by James Michener, “

The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion.  He hardly knows which is hcihw.  He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing.  To him he’s always doing both.”  

That’s beautiful quote.  As I was typing that quote out, it continued to resonate even deeper with me. To make work feel like play.  Carroll then explains how he felt lost as a child, after his parents abandoned him before the age of six and he was sent to live with his grandparents.  After moving in with his grandparents, Carroll explored the neighborhood which is when he discovered the playground and his talent in sports.  His career in sports began on the playground, playing various sports with local kids. He played various sports throughout all the seasons and he found he had a lot of talent in many of them such as basketball, football and soccer.  However, the neighborhood playground lacked a red rubber ball, so each day, Carroll dreamed that he would one day own one.

Sports began to fuel his dreams…he knew he wanted to do something with sports, whether that be an athlete or a trainer.  His dreams about a red rubber ball became Kevin Carroll’s “powerful symbol of sport”, which he chased after.  Following high school, Carroll was positive he wanted to go into sports, so he participated on soccer teams and even joined the army so he could go to Germany and join a soccer club there.  When he was injured, he got himself a degree in sports medicine and eventually became the head trainer for the Philadelphia 76ers.  Then he worked at Nike, where his sole job was to inspire designers and “push their creativity to the limit”.  Carroll found pleasure in this.  To him, his job was his play and he enjoyed it.  It didn’t matter whether he was on the field, with injured athletes or working at Nike…Carroll found his happiness in the field of sports and this passion/goal became his red rubber ball.   

Carroll then asks the readers a series of questions with the purpose of helping readers find their red rubber ball [or your passion].  I’ve listed them here:

1. What’s your primal source of joy?
2. What topics do you love to discuss and ponder?
3. What dreams do you chase?
4. What in life do you find irresistible? A source of inspiration?  A reason to get out of bed?
5. What activites enthrall you?
6. What would you do for free?
7. What’s your red rubber ball?

Finding your red rubber ball is only half the battle.  After identifying their passion, following it requires strength, but with commitment and dedication, nothing can derail your goals.  Carroll then states 7 tips that have helped him follow his passion.  He offers different stories from his own experience that helped shape these guidelines he follows. I encourage you to read this book for those exact details:)

7 tips for following your red rubber ball from Rules of the Red Rubber Ball.

    The second tip states that one should seek out encouragers and supporters along the way.  In essence, these supporters are your teachers and your parents.  I graduated from Middle School this past Wednesday and I want to take a moment to honor my teachers and educators.  They have all leveraged my sense of self and my goals in some way and they have listened to me in my times of struggle, giving me advice on how to act. They have all contributed to my life in an ineffable way.  All I can say is that I will forever remember my amazing supporters.  A special shoutout to my advisor, math and english teacher!

Most importantly, I’d like to thank my parents.  I never do this enough, but I wouldn’t be the person I am today without their constant dedication of time and energy to me. My dad takes time out of his day to drive our tennis machine onto the courts, letting me hit 300+ balls [we do multiple rounds], while he picks up and he’s not even playing!  My mom drives me to piano lessons every Saturday where she sits for 45 minutes every Saturday and she doesn’t get to play a single note!  I’m experiencing a sincere feeling of gratitude because my parents always seem to be acting selflessly, all for my sake, regardless of whether they benefit or not.  I’m deeply grateful.  

What being a part of a Chamber Group forces you to do

It forces you to be more aware of other people.  That’s what being a part of a chamber group forces me to do.  

At the beginning of the year, I joined a chamber group with Sam and Abigail, a violinist and a violist respectively.  This year, we managed to complete two pieces, meeting once every two weeks and more frequently before performances.  This upcoming Wednesday, we will be performing a Clarinet Trio by Mozart at middle school graduation.  

I believe this Mozart trio was levels beyond the piece we’d previously played. Regardless, I believe we learned it faster even though it was longer.  This is partially credited to our more developed listening skills.  In a chamber group, or whenever I’m playing with other people, no matter how well we each individually play, I must constantly be listening to our group mates in addition to ourselves.  Sometimes being simply a half beat too late or too early will lead each of us to totally different spots in the music.  

Chamber has forced me to listen more, to others while simultaneously being mindful of myself.  I must adjust myself when I feel the group is ahead/behind.  I must listen for queues and sometimes, when I can’t find my place, I must temporarily forsake own part and listen solely to Sam and Abigail to find myself in the music again.  I suppose this translates itself into how I should respond and conduct myself in heated arguments, when I’m receiving feedback, or when I’m talking to someone: listen, listen, listen.  

I am almost through middle school

It doesn’t seem like a long time ago when I started middle school.  After all, sixth grade was only 3 years ago.  This Wednesday, I will be graduating from Middle School.  

A wrap up of this week:

Monday→ Memorial Day; no school

Tuesday→ Regular classes and review for final exams

Wednesday→ Regular classes and review for final exams

Thursday→ Science and French exams

Friday→ Math exams

And that concludes the end to middle school. Just like that. Well, not exactly.  I still have two more days of school but the most of the academic learning/tests are completed.  It ended, all in a very abrupt way to me and it makes me sad.  I feel I want more of middle school before I continue onto high school.  I wonder, have I truly outgrown middle school yet?  Am I ready for the next big step where there’ll be more competition and more setbacks?  Middle school seems to have ended too suddenly, it felt this week was the final leg of the race.  And it’s speeding by all too quickly!  I’ve talked a lot about how life only seems to be speeding up for me, but now that middle school is ending and a new journey called high school will begin in September, I’m realizing how quickly this is not only speeding by, but how quickly I’m about to leave it.  I will be leaving all my friends, and as my advisor told me, I will have make a concerted effort in order to stay in touch with these friends.  And I'm going to miss all my teachers dearly. Since I'm transferring schools, it feels as if I'm going to be farther from them. And all of them have played a huge role in my the developing of my current self today, which I'm ineffably grateful for. I know that I will be leaving BB&N with a little bit of all of my teachers ingrained in me.