Senior Fall

Senior fall is a notorious term for high schoolers in the US. It's a time when students are both applying to colleges but also trying to manage likely the hardest combination of courses of their high school careers. This was certainly the case for me this past term. Nonetheless, I believe times of uncertainty, stress, and difficulty are the times that build the most character and the times when I've grown the most as a person. So while I'm relishing the last couple of days of Thanksgiving break, I'm also using this time to reflect upon what I've learned during this past, unprecedented term. 

The logistical aspects of this term have certainly challenged my scheduling skills as a student. Whereas in previous terms classes were taken during the day and homework completed that night, 8 PM classes have really disrupted this norm. I'm now used to saving work given from a night class for the morning. The notion of "saving work for tomorrow morning" was something I could not imagine myself doing before. While I'm not the person who feels they have to complete assignments as soon as they're posted, I'm still the kind of student who starts assignments well before they're due. Night classes required some adjusting from that tendency of mine and personal acceptance that sometimes I won't complete everything by the time I go to bed. And that's okay. 

Due to the limitations generated by the health pandemic, I've been forced to change the way I think about socializing. While Andover gave students the option to return to the campus in the fall, I chose to stay remote for the term. Many of my friends who returned to campus mentioned in classes that they felt it wasn't the same Andover, or that it wasn't the Andover "senior year experience" because of the socializing opportunities. In this sense, I suppose everyone was on the same boat in terms of reimaging socializing. For me, texting people was the primary way I communicated. If I saw something that reminded me of someone, I would reach out to them casually. Of course, this form of communication could never replace in-person or what once was.  But I think most students have managed to navigate these foreign waters in some shape or form. 

Finally, the last important thing I experienced as a student this term was a comeback. I think something a lot of students are used to is things coming easily and flowing smoothly. I can ascertain that until this term, I was one of those students. Comprehension came with inputting time. Executing a plan came with setting a schedule. But this past term, for the first time in my high school career, a lot of things did not flow smoothly. I was having trouble identifying grammar mistakes in French essays, even if I spent hours editing my paper. I was simply blind to those errors until my teacher circled them. I was also having trouble picking up topics in other subjects. While part of this is a result of taking on the hardest course load I've ever had at Andover, I think a great deal of this came from the fact that my head was in multiple spaces at once. At all times, I was thinking about school work, the pandemic, and college applications. And at the midterm, my performance in some classes wasn't in the best shape. Nonetheless, I managed to improve in all my classes in the second half of the term, my comeback. As cliché as it sounds, for the first time, I really experienced the adage "it's not over until it's over." More importantly, senior fall was a precursor of the fact that I'm really going to have to work for things I want in the future and that no, I shouldn't get used to things coming smoothly; accomplishing what I want is going to take hard work, grit, and perseverance.

I am grateful for this past term. Even though it's not socially what anyone anticipated, I've learned and grown in ways I don't think I would've had life been normal. My second to last term at Andover begins on Wednesday. I cannot wait for what's in store.  

Thanksgiving 2020

Even in trying times like 2020, there's something to be grateful for. While I've felt from a young age that the idea of having a day of thanks, namely Thanksgiving, withdraws from the fundamental value of practicing gratitude every day, in challenging times I believe that highlighting the things we appreciate becomes even more important. 2020 has changed the ways of life in both temporary and permanent manners for everyone and I think it's important for me to sit back and reflect on things I appreciate.

I'm grateful that I have a roof over my head and that generally speaking, my family is in good health. 

I'm grateful for the people who risk their lives going to work every day so that the risk they bear may benefit the community. 

I'm grateful for the front line workers in hospitals and medical facilities. I understand that many of these medical workers, nurses, and doctors entered the field with the noble life mission to save others' lives. And COVID has utterly defied what they believed was possible to do. I cannot imagine the stress that also comes with being in that position of making the tough phone call to family members. Thank you to these first-line responders. 

I'm grateful for my teachers and friends for their support this time when it's challenging to be a student. To my advisor in particular, who's been there for me every week and who's created a warm, inviting community amongst his advisees where we can laugh, have fun, and have deep conversations about our troubles.

I'm grateful to my parents as always. I've spent more time with them in the last eight-ish months than I have in the past three years because I've been learning remotely instead of boarding. I'm so grateful for our dinners every night, our walks around the neighborhood at night, and their support in my journey through college applications. 

Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, wrote a powerful article in the New York Times yesterday called "The Losses We Share." The last sentence in her article resonated with me: "Are we OK? We will be." Perhaps this is a reminder of how we must approach not just the remainder of this year, but how we must persevere through a global recovery that could last years. But we will be OK. And I'm grateful for that light at the end of the tunnel. 

Happy Thanksgiving

 

The Queen's Gambit

It's quite uncharacteristic of me to watch television shows, mostly because I find that some shows drag on a little longer than I can maintain interest. But last night, I finished watching The Queen's Gambit on Netflix and I think experienced what must be considered a paradigm shift in the way I understand TV shows, directing, and storytelling now. This is a MUST WATCH!! I would 100% recommend this show to everyone. 

-- spoiler alert! -- 

The Queen's Gambit is about an orphan, named Elizabeth (Beth) Harmon, who's a chess prodigy. And while this plot may seem simple (and the ending foreseeable), I have not been able to stop thinking about this show. What amazes me most is how directors Scott Frank and Allan Scott take this traditional game of chess and turn it into a whole new world in the show. They make this movie interesting through artistic, directorial choices. Otherwise, watching 7 episodes about…well, chess might come across as boring to most audiences. Through advertent storytelling decisions, Frank and Scott drive viewers to root so badly for Beth Harmon in her tournaments. I could feel her thoughts, envision them almost in my head. I felt her emotion seep through the screen. I could feel Harmon's frustrations, her fears, and the anxiety she was trying to hide in her matches against Soviet grandmasters, all of which were successfully portrayed by the talented Anya Taylor-Joy. 

Not only was the directing thoughtful, calculated, and well-executed, but the story itself was filled with symbolism. My heart reached out to Beth when she revisited the Methuen Home to find that Mr. Shaibel had never forgotten about her all those years or when she always bought two plane tickets everywhere, one for herself and the other for her deceased foster mother Alma. Additionally, the role of the tranquilizers Beth took throughout the show was unclear at first. Initially, I jumped to the conclusion that she needed to take the pills to visualize the chessboard and her previous games. But as the directors slowly reveal Beth's past, it became clear that these pills were a coping mechanism for trauma after her mother's suicide attempt. When she flushed the remaining pills down the toilet before her final match against World Champion Borgov, it symbolizes Beth overcoming the negativity that's shrouded her entire life since the car accident that left her an orphan. 

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This is the kind of show everyone should watch, particularly in 2020, a year full of crisis and trauma on a global scale. "The Queen's Gambit" is a feel-good show, through the tears and moments of frustration. It draws at the heartstrings of viewers and I personally found myself rallying for Beth in a way I haven't observed with many other movie characters. 2020 has been a difficult year for everyone around the world and while watching TV shows won't resolve the ongoing crises, at least it presents a source of momentary distraction and appreciation for this incredible work of film. I absolutely loved this series.

Résumé Virtues and Eulogy Virtues

A couple years back, I used to visit the site Medium frequently. It's an idea-sharing platform, almost like a news source with a blog-style take. I must be frank, I'd fallen out of the habit of checking Medium, but a few weeks ago, our class read an article from the site in EBI. I immediately reconnected with the feelings that attracted me the Medium in the first place after reading "Résumé Virtues, Eulogy Virtues, and the Impact of Small Moments". This article resonated greatly with me and I've been reflecting on it for some time now since EBI. 

In this article, Mike Sturm argues most people possess two sets of traits. For example, being a hard-worker, responsible, articulate, and intelligent are what Sturm calls "résumé virtues". They're the kinds of traits that employers want to see, but that you wouldn't necessarily highlight when introducing someone in a non-work setting. "Résumé" traits are also what many schools tend to breed in students these days through rewarding those who focus on perfecting their school work over other areas of their beings.

On the other hand, Sturm designates the second set of traits as "eulogy virtues". Possessing traits like charisma, emotional intelligence, resiliency, kindness, patience, and an optimistic character are, as the term suggests, traits you'd say in a eulogy. Sturm writes that in today's high-power, forward-thinking society, people are wrongly raised to focus almost exclusively on résumé traits. In turn, these soft skills or characteristics are inadvertently de-emphasized. And I couldn't agree with him more. 

For most of my academic career, I've believed in educating the whole person. I've always found character to be the thing that draws me most to people. When I say "character", I'm referring to what Sturm calls "eulogy virtues." I don't understand what it is about our education system, but too often it fails to reward those traits. Instead, the system rewards people for résumé virtues. People with strong résumé virtues often perform better in school and receive better job offers. They may be called the "alphas".

But I see the implications of this every day. When people don't feel they're rewarded for things like kindness or emotional intelligence, they don't spend time developing or reflecting upon those areas of themselves. This can people to be reluctant to help peers. Peers feel ultra-competitive, pushing themselves to the limits to oust everyone else from the performance picture. In the work environment, it pushes everyone to be extra critical of each other to the point where at some companies, I've read that it's normal for "team" meetings to lead to people crying. Where is it that we lost the ability to be constructive and kind? To be compassionate and hardworking. To be optimistic and data-driven. Where is it that we lost eulogy values? 

Perhaps it's even too general to denominate these as "eulogy" values because they're not just things that we should say when someone passes. "Eulogy virtues" touches upon the fundamentals of human character. Of personality. Of genuine goodness in people. And while a herd of people with strong résumé virtues may serve the economy relentlessly, we shouldn't lose sight of the value of a good human being. 

My cat turns 20!

My cat, Beibei, has been with me since day 1. Seriously. As my parents tell it, when they came home from the hospital with me, she didn't leave my side because she couldn't tell what I was! It shocks me somewhat to think about the life my cat has lived thus far. My cat was 2 years old when I came home. I'm leaving for college next fall and she's still here! She's made it to the twenties before me yet she's spent most of her life observing us, humans. Perhaps this explains her inexplicable intelligence. My family likes to say that "Beibei knows everything". She truly does. For example, when we talk about her in conversations, her tail begins to waver up and down as she picks out her name mid-sentence. Through the ups and downs, she's seen it all in this family. Happy 20th, Beibei. 

One of my favorite pictures of Beibei. She was only 2 years old here!

To celebrate Beibei's 20th, we bought a (human) cake

 

11/7: History is made

Today, the American people elected Joe Biden as the 46th President-elect of the United States of America. Kamala Harris, the Vice President-elect would be the first female Vice President in US history. Today, history was made. 

From the WSJ

The internet is bursting with this news. From podcasts to websites to commentary articles, everything seems to be focused on some aspect of this unprecedented, utterly important 2020 election. I particularly enjoyed this NYTimes article. Not only was the language smooth and energetic, but rather than reciting facts about the close election, the writers discussed the implications of Biden's win for the country. It successfully painted the importance of this election in American history. 

There's been a lot of posts circulating on social media too. Quite typical these days as most of my friends seem to getting their news from Instagram. From looking through people's stories, I've noticed a wide variety of posts being shared. This one from NPR's feed stuck out most to me. It's an utterly human moment for Kamala Harris. She's in workout clothes, on a walk-in nature. It provides a very human look into the life of the Vice President-elect, whom we otherwise rarely see in a professional setting. I love hearing Harris's laugh at the end. It's resonant and reveals her warm character. 

I don't think I can successfully do justice to what happened today in American history, which is why I shared these two posts from other media whom I believe has captured what I cannot put into words. All I can say is that nearly 150 million American people, the most in the entire history of US elections, have worked to have their voices heard in the middle of a global pandemic and it's the duty of both candidates to uphold our democracy. 

Education

 “Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” 

–Robert Frost 

A while back, one of my best friends shared with me a motto she lives by: Everything is learnable. This is how she approaches academics and difficult subjects. After all, learning is more controllable than most things in the world. 

I love her motto saying and I believe it pertains to Frost's quote; learning is a process and when you listen to something with the intent to learn, soon it'll have no reason to deprecate self-confidence because you'll understand it:) 

I struggled this past week with some French assignments so I'm thinking of this quote as I reflect on my week. As long as I keep at it, soon, it'll have no reason to cause me to lose my temper or confidence.