Here's what my friendships look like

For the longest time, I was very confused about where I stood in my community at Andover.  I know a lot of people, and a lot of people know me.  I talk to a lot of different people and I greet a lot of different people on campus.  However, for some reason, every time I walked into Commons for dinner, or sat down to do homework, I always ended up by myself.  Recently, through some rumination and thought process, I figured out why.

When I walked into Commons for dinner to Upper Right, I always looked at those big friend groups that had enough people to fill up half of one of the long tables in commons.  I, on the other hand, usually sat by myself on one of the side tables.  When I walked through campus, I often saw large groups of girls or large groups of boys walking in a cluster.  I kept asking myself, who’s in my group?  Who do I travel with?  I wasn’t sure where I fit in in my grade.  

When I gave it some good thought, I realized that my friends and I don’t do everything together, yet we still remain friends.  I don’t have a giant group of people I hang out with all the time.  I usually hang out with one or two of my friends (which is not enough to fill up even a side table in Commons).  The thing about my friendships is that we are each independent, yet we understand this mutual relationship we have with one another.  I eat lunch with two of my friends.  The interesting thing about these two friends is that none of us have mutual classes together, none of us live in the same dorm, and none of us participate in the same extracurriculars: we met through simply sitting and talking with each other over time during lunch periods.  

I confide in these types of friends.  I have friends I met through clubs and sports, but we also don’t travel in a gang.  We each have our own individual style and agenda, but the mutual thing between us is that we made our friendships through sitting at meals or doing mutual activities.  Of course, when I walk into Commons, I try to find a group of friends to sit with.  However, I realize now that when I walk into Commons for dinner and end up sitting at a table by myself or with one other person, it’s okay.  I don’t have to be in a large group of kids and crowd around a giant table at Commons.  I also understand now that although I don’t travel in a large group with any particular combination of people, I still have friends.  

Elizabeth Foley said, “The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart”.  I think this illustrates my friendships.