How I've Grown: Seventh to Eighth Grade

Seventh grade. And now eighth grade. It appears to be a one year difference, yet in reality, it was only four months ago that I was a seventh grader. I’ve written about this sudden jump in responsibility and the seemly giant spurt in age, but the truth is, I’m only four months older. Yet I feel my perspective has developed and changed meaningfully during these past four months.

It’s about grades. I may seem like the nerdiest of nerds to be pondering this, but honestly, it has played a major part in the drive of my educational past. I’ve never been very competitive physically yet anything mental has been very competitive for me. Whether that involves placing a jumbled up alphabet in order or solving a math problem the fastest, I had a tendency to measure myself against others.

This year, my competitive intentions are different. They still exist and I frequently notice them when the bugs in my head buzz, yet they have taken a different route and I see my competition from a different perspective. Martin Luther King Jr. once said,

“I judge people by their own principles, not by my own.”

Likewise, it takes both courage and fortitude to judge yourself against yourself, not your peers or those you’re surrounded with.

So eighth grade…here I am. I still find myself occasionally returning to my “old ways” of being ashamed of myself when others do better. Their success acts as impetus for me to work harder, yet I also try to be genuinely happy for someone when they succeed, remembering the habit of Thinking Win-Win. I recognize that sometimes my notion to compare myself to others still resurfaces, but when this happens, I find that repeating this to myself helps: Ava, you’re your own best competition, you can drive yourself. It kind of rings, doesn’t it? Like I’m good enough to be competition for someone! I will not ever try to suppress thoughts or refrain from experiencing my own feelings, especially since we are all humans and feeling competitive is natural. All I must do is recognize my feelings and prevent them from overtaking my outlook of failure.