A Realization of Reality

It has been an especially prominent idea in my head for over the past year, with high school clandestinely skulking upon me with time, passel amounts of tests to study during the year on top of stress, but when I mindfully reflect upon my purpose for working hard in the first place, I can only pinpoint the desire to do something big with my life. It’s my drive. I suppose I view “doing something big in life” as being a business entrepreneur, working among a small, eclectic group of erudite personas. Yes, CEO appeals to me. And for some incorrect, banal, non-open-minded reason, it is one of the few vocations that strikes me as “something big.”

It came to me a few days ago, with supplementary ponderment, that I do not have to be the CEO of one of the most successful and futuristic companies (though I still strive for this outcome. My life would be in nirvana if it happened:)) yet still be doing something big. I was at dinner with my family to celebrate the graduation of college and acceptance into graduate school of my Mom’s friend’s son, Brian. He is a graduate from UMass and is heading to Illinois to earn a doctorate degree in material science. Brian is cultivating his best self. No, he is currently not a CEO or some colossal company but yes, he continues to epitomize someone doing something big with life.

            It is makes me heartsick apprehending the reality in which I am not the next entrepreneur, CEO, or consultant. Brian’s life is showing me this truth: most people are not the next greatest CEO. The majority finish high school, go to college, get a degree and then

maybe follow up with a MBA or Ph.D. Then they find a job, raise a family and live on. This startles me and it makes me conscious. In my dreams, in the clouds, I’m following the convoluted life of a successful business person. In my dreams, in the clouds, I have started my own company. But now, I am beginning to view my future differently. Just because I have a business idea, or the desire to start a business, doesn’t mean this aspiration will be granted. Just because I obtain the leadership skills or the education to start a company doesn’t mean it will be successful. This startles me. But the most important example set by Brian is that I can do something big with my life in any field, whether I am a CEO or not. I guess living life is really where the size of it is derived. It’s a realization of reality when my head is dragged down to Earth, yet my heart remains within the clouds.