My newest habit

“Chains of habits are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken” -Warren Buffett

Habits. A noun. Repetitive actions. 

Habits sort of have this weird connotation of bringing about harm when people throw the word around carelessly. Nevertheless, they also having the power to induce positive change in one’s life. My friend once wisely said that we pick up new habits every new year of school as we adjust to our schedules, meet new people, and adapt to new teachers. That, and seeing Buffett’s quote, triggered memories of some habits I’ve had in the past. 

One year in middle school, I picked up the habit of playing music in the background whenever I studied. I thought it would help me study more effectively as some studies have shown. Seeing many of my friends throw in their earplugs during study hours only ascertained this notion. Later, I found it took longer to get work done so I dropped that habit. Last year, I unintentionally picked up the habit of showering at midnight. I showered when I had completed all my work, and therefore midnight deemed itself the perfect time. I have since stopped this habit and our new schedules seem to support earlier shower times. In middle school, I also developed the habit of taking class notes in color. These extra second spent changing pen colors made my notes so aesthetically pleasing that it distracted me from processing the information to focusing on the artistic feel of my page at the end of class. Circumstances, schedules, and new understandings drive new habits. 

I’ve picked up a new habit this year. Perhaps “habit” is not quite the best description as it’s more a matter of meeting my athletics requirements. This term, I’ve been participating in AM Basics, which is a morning running program. My school considers AM Basics a “life sport” because there is no interscholastic competition. Life sports also meet for just 30 minutes every day, versus the usually 90 minutes of interscholastic sports. 

Our group of 10 begins running at 7 AM, forcing me to get up early in the morning. I’ve always been a morning person…I study better in the morning, I’m happier in the morning, and I sort through my daily to-dos in the morning. Morning Basics first and foremost saves a lot of time in the afternoon, a time when I prefer doing homework or even napping.  AM Basics may be my next best habit because it enables me to get breakfast at Commons. The school created this new schedule with a late start, 8:30, every morning to encourage students to get breakfast. Nevertheless, I’ve found that on Wednesday, when there is no AM Basics, I still do not eat. Upon observing my own patterns for getting food in the morning, I’ve discovered that time for breakfast is not created by a late start but by an intentional decision to make time for it. AM Basics helps me make that decision since Commons opens when the sport ends. Finally, getting through a 30 minute run early in the morning is one of the most refreshing feelings I know. I’ve found that the hardest part of the whole process is waking up and getting out of bed. Walking out the door after just rolling out of bed occasionally involves being slapped in the face by the chilliness of the morning. What motivates me most is the feeling of accomplishment afterwards. The energy and adrenaline I develop from my run push me through the academic day more smoothly. 

AM Basics. My (soon-to-be) newest habit of the year. There’s an unparalleled feeling of being the only one awake on campus at the dawn of morning, matched by a crisp, shocking morning breeze that has drawn me into the sport. While I can’t officially call morning runs a “habit” quite yet, I’m honestly considering going on runs in the mornings on the weekends too. Tootles to more AM runs :)

How you made them feel

http://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2019-01-08-century-and-half-reconstructed-ocean-warming-offers-clues-future-0

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou

Thank you, Abigail, for sharing this with me.

Start Somewhere

I stared at the pile of physics papers on my desk that I hadn’t touched for three weeks. Equations, textbooks, my notecards, all inundating my little desk beyond sight. Three weeks ago, I thought I would be done with these papers and materials but an upcoming test last week called for review. When my parents brought me all 5 of my giant test prep books, I could remember reading through all of them but I couldn’t quite recall the details and the chapters I had struggled most with. Sitting at my textbook flooded desk last week, I was startled by all the material I had covered and anxious about having to review it all. 

“Where do I begin?” I asked my parents. 

Having taken a three-week break from all my notes and textbooks, the material and even the notion of having to study it again felt foreign. This also made me realize the difficulty of getting back into the groove of something, whether that be a sport, studying, playing an instrument, or even socializing. Getting back into the groove of something is so difficult that at times, it feels easier to avoid restarting. 

I’ve been reviewing physics for one week now. I try to get in a period of studying in the morning or in the evening when I’m done with work. The weekend has also proven to be really effective scheduling time. I remember this nuanced feeling of overwhelm and denial. A part of me wanted to avoid studying altogether and another wanted to start but didn’t know where. The feeling of foreign material dissipated after about a day or two of studying. 

I think the most important thing I’ve learned through this experience of revisiting things is to start somewhere and to take the first right step. I didn't exactly know where to start, so I reviewed my flashcards with equations. This ultimately lead me to recall topics I struggled with. In retrospect, I realize I spent quite a bit of time trying to find a way to review without actually reviewing. I tried to find a crack in the wall that I could squeeze through to get back into the swing. I realize now that there are no shortcuts. The only thing one can do is to start somewhere and take the first right step in that direction. The rest flows more smoothly afterward. Areas of struggle began to emerge in my memory and I could focus on those areas. 

Nike’s most famous slogan, “Just do it” comes into fruition. What they’re advocating is to dive in rather than muse around the perimeters of the problem in all things life. The feelings of overwhelmth is one that I can't forget and I will remember this experience for the future when I feel this way: start somewhere and take the first right step. 

The Nouveau Ambiance

Campus exudes a nouveau ambiance when I return from summer vacation. The crispy summer to fall transition weather provokes a sense of freshness and rejuvenation. Perhaps it’s the long break from school or perhaps it’s the confidence we each start off with during the school year thinking this is the year, but something about returning to campus always excites me. 

This year I am an Upper (junior in most high schools). For the first time since my time at Andover, my age falls in the older half. I’ve met some 13-year-old freshman and having three extra years on me, that feels like quite a long time ago. Walking around campus feels different. I feel almost…larger. The assertiveness and confidence of older students pervade through even the most trivial of our actions, such as walking through Commons surveying dinner, hustling through the library to find a place to study, or conversing with faculty on the pathways. While the strength of one’s confidence contributes to the appearance of one’s physical size, I’ve noticed the average Upper is bigger than the average freshman. Of course, two to three years play a huge difference in a teenager’s development. 

As the saying goes, with age comes responsibility. I feel the heavier weight of not only my performance in classes but the strength of my influence on younger students in the ways I behave and talk. I remember staring at the older students in awe my freshman year. I admired their braceless, perfect smiles. I admired their comfortability walking around campus independently. I admired the way they behaved in classes, asking questions until they understood everything perfectly. Perhaps this feeling is quite universal as one assesses campus social norms. 

Walking into commons yesterday, I felt eyes on me. Maybe it’s because I was dressed head to toe in running gear, but something felt different. The eyes felt similar to the way I regarded older students during my first week at Andover. Curiosity? Intimidation? Quite difficult to pinpoint. Being on the other side of those subtle almost subconscious stares feels different and quite honestly, the responsibility of being an older student on campus scares me. 

Butterflies fly in my stomach as I look towards this year from this side of the shore. I indubitably expect ups, downs, and stress. On the shore, it feels pretty safe. I realize though that as soon as I step into the water, I may begin to feel turbulence. So here we go anyway…onto Upper year.  

Summer 2019

It’s been one heck of a summer and it’s definitely been my busiest. 

I’ve been away for the past week in Beijing. My plane landed yesterday afternoon and I just got to school and unpacked this morning. Now that I’ve settled down a little bit, I’ve found some downtime from a busy back-to-back summer schedule. I think the most important thing I’ve learned this summer is how almost everything is a decision. It continues to amaze me how much control we have over how we act, how we perform, and how we produce. Putting in the time and effort while regulating patience goes a long way, particularly in studying. 

While I’ve certainly always had something to do this summer, whether it be studying, planning, or traveling, I lost time to be with myself. I haven’t observed, reflected, and read as much as I would have liked. It still stuns me to think that there will never be another Summer 2019 and that whatever I’ve done will stay forever under the title of Summer 2019. The years seem to fly by without a trace and the times between them are beginning to blur. This morning, my dad and I walked to the car rental shop to pick up a truck for move-in day. For a second I thought I had been in that office quite recently since the arrangement of the chairs and the employees were familiar. Yet when I paused, I remembered that the last time I had been in that office was a year ago. Sitting in the same seat I sat in while waiting made a year old memory feel not so distant and served as a reminder for how quickly time passes even when it’s not on my conscience. 

This summer in 10 words:

London

Paris

Positivity

LaunchX

Studying

Starbucks

Treadmills

Family

Stress

Beijing

While this summer has been particularly busy, it has definitely been a summer I would do over again. The constant agenda and list of to-dos kept me occupied and productive. I’m sitting alone in my room right now and I’m ready to jump into junior year. 

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Some photos from Beijing ;)