The possibilities are limitless

One of the things about Andover is that the limits are endless…and it stays that way. 

Coming to Andover, I planned on joining the newspaper, join a business club, practice piano, and play sports.  While I have done what I’d planned on doing, I’ve found there is so much more to do.  In fact, I’m far from content with what I could do.  Yes, I’ve started a business club, but I’m trying to find ways to expand it.  Yes, I write for the Commentary section of the Phillipian.  But I’d also like to start writing for News in the Spring, and perhaps start Phillipian photo next fall.  I’m also beginning to engage in some affinity groups.  There are so many things to join and try. 

The upperclassmen tell me to try as many things as possible as a freshman, since my homework is still at a manageable level.  This way, I can find what I’m truly interested in my later years, and focus in on those.  What’s really wonderful is how willing people are to help new members get involved in a club or an organization.  For me, I emailed the editor of the News section and she immediately offered to help me get involved in the spring. It occurred to me early today that this is partially what makes the possibilities limitless.  It’s the inclusiveness of the school on a whole.  

Our lives back home influence our lives here

One of the beautiful things about Andover is the diversity.  People come from all of the world, with different backgrounds, household cultures, political beliefs, religions etc.  Last night, I was walking back to my room when I heard some of my friends talking about this.  I tuned into the conversation. 

At Andover, all backgrounds are welcome to be expressed.  I notice how people’s backgrounds influence how they perceive different manners.  For example, I have one friend who gets takeout to her dorm almost every night for dinner.  I have never gotten takeout in my 6 months at Andover.  I eat at Commons every night, and I feel like I’ve never had more time than that to eat.  I was curious so I was talked to her about this habit, and she told me that she ate out for lunch every day back in China, so eating out is very normal and for her.  

Some people's lives back home are expressed very obviously, while others are less obvious.  I, for one, am an only child.  Coming to Andover, I learned about some of the connotations that only children have.  And while I never speak about how I’m an only child, in English class, in FIT, and when I’m having random conversations, people sometimes ask me, “Are you an only-child?”  When I say yes, they reply, “That’s what I thought.”  For a while, that confused me.  

Last night I realized why through the conversation with my friends.  I believe it’s because our stories show, regardless of whether we want them to or not.  It’s the way we’ve been raised, and we see it as a norm.  Our day to day behavior and demeanor reflects how we've been raised our lives back home.  Our lives back home influence our lives here. That being said, I think all students who come to Andover learn at least one thing, the importance in recognizing peoples various backgrounds and celebrating the differences.  

Perfectionism + Efficiency

The end of my second term at Andover is coming to a close.  Next week will be our final week of classes, followed by finals, then Spring break.  Since I’ve come to Andover, particularly during this term, I found that I was forced to change my work habits.  

In middle school, I was a perfectionist.  I’d say I was never of the extreme type of perfectionist, but I was concerned about the details enough to take at least half an hour longer on most homework assignments than most of my classmates.  For example, I’d write a paper a week before it was due, and then edit it a little everyday.  The day before I had to submit it, I would read it over and over and over repeatedly.  For math homework, I’d be very detail oriented about the neatness, and organization of my work.  While this method did pay back, I ended up being very stressed over spending a lot of time on every assignment.  

I find myself adapting the way I work.  Efficiency is key.  Logistically, I could potentially spend six hours on homework, given that each subject assigns one hour of homework. However, almost no one spends six hours a day on homework (it’s simply not possible since sports end at the earliest 5, and I have lights out at 11).  I’m still detail oriented, just in a different way.  I pay attention to different chunks of a paper that I know are not clear, or I reread certain sections of my math textbook that I know I’m not familiar with, instead of rereading everything ten times.  In math, instead of making my paper look nice, I focus more on seeing if I can solve the problem again in my head. 

So yes, while I’m still a bit of a perfectionist, I’m also becoming more efficient and I hope this will pay off as my major assignments approach their due dates.  

Anyway and Homo Deus

My advisor sent me this quote earlier this week.  I had heard of this quote during middle school, but I'd forgotten about it over the years.  It was very relevant during this past week and kept me motivated, sane, and forgiving of myself.

This second quote I found on the walls of the library.  I found it to be astonishing true.  At a first glance, I saw it as a blur of random ideas strung together with big words.  Then I stopped to deeply consider the quote. I believe it means that we define "success" and "satisfaction" as meeting the goals we hope to meet, or essentially reaching the bar we've set for ourselves.  However, this quote also says that as we continue to reach bars and meet expectations, the bars and expectations are raised higher and higher.  This is when people are forced to stretch.  Going along with how I've interpreted this quote, I would think that I've been stretching a lot these past few weeks. 

The External-caused stress

I think there are two types of stress I experience.  The one I experience more frequently is when I don't perform well on a test and I begin to panic about my grades.  Or when I say something I didn't mean to say to a friend, and I can't stop thinking about how to make it up to them.  Or when I have a lot of stuff on my list to do that I end up freaking myself out because I'm afraid I can't get everything done. 

The stress I experienced this past week has been a different kind of stress.  It's the kind where I'm not the one in control.  In the other examples, it was my fault, my duty, or my responsibility that I failed to meet.  The type of stress I felt this week, or probably more realistically these past two days, have been out of my control.  They have been what I'm now calling external-caused stress.  Many things I was stressed about where out of my control.  For example, I did all the work on my art class and created a product, but someone else simply did a better job than me in creating a different version of a similar product.  This stressed me out in the sense that I wanted to be as good as they were, even though I had completed the work.  And then yesterday, some people said some things that wasn't worded in the most diplomatic way that caused me some anxiety.

I have yet to identify more areas of stress.  But as for external-caused stress, I'm striving to manage it better by realizing that I'm doing my best.  I can't control what other people do or say to me either, nor can I control what other people think of me.  I think external-caused stress may be me over stressing about things I do not need to think about.  I'm going to try to remember that this upcoming week.

Home

Home is sacred now.  I want to keep it that way.  When I first came to boarding school in September, I loved the freedom.  I enjoyed the late night, the complete making of my own lifestyle, and the settling in of my own habits.  That all shone very brightly at the beginning of my time here.  I think it may have eclipsed the lack of personal discretion in some ways as well.

I’ve been missing home for some time now.  This past weekend, we had our midwinter holiday, and I was able to return home.  However, I returned to campus early on Sunday (Even though we had Monday off) to work on my art project.  I miss home.  And every time break is around the corner, I long for home.

I miss being able to sleep whenever I wanted.  Sure, I was never one who slept after midnight, but I do not  have someone check lights at 11 PM.  I feel as if I spend less time doing the same amount of work at home, because there are no distractions.  I miss my neighborhood as well.  I have lived in the same place my entire life, so I know the area really well.  On Saturday. I went on a 5 mile run, which I struggle to do at school due to my lack of familiarity with the area off campus. 

It’s the small differences that make home home, and school school.  At home, I am able to shower and then dress in the bathroom that the steam from my shower has heated up.  At school, I have to walk back to my room from the bathroom, and it gets really chilly in the hallways.  Nevertheless, it could be so much worse, so I’m grateful for what I have.  

Home is becoming more prominently home in my head.  I’m seeing it more as a separate comfortable space.  I try to leave the stress for school, and try to bring only a desire for relaxation home (along with a little homework).  But home, I will return to it again in 24 days.  

Friendships are formed through struggle

The art course I’m taking right now is very difficult.  There’s a lot of homework and time spent on each project.  Mistakes are easily made and a restart is often required.  The thing I’ve noticed though is that the people in my class have bonded in a way that I haven’t bonded with kids in my other classes.  Yes, I’m friends with people in all my classes, but I have a different sort of connection with the people in my art class.  Perhaps it’s because everyone, except for one other girl, is an upperclassman.  But my guess is that it’s because we’ve bonded through the struggle.  

I’m finding that the most genuine friendships are formed through classes where everyone struggles.  We end up bonding through the struggle together.  Last week, my teacher asked that we all finished our products.  People in my class were spending hours in the computer lab working on Sunday, and yet, none of us finished by the deadline.  We talk amongst ourselves about how to make certain products, we helped each other print/laser cut things, and we also talk about how many times we had to restart the project.  It’s an oddly supportive feeling when I tell my teacher I have to start over, but other people join me in saying they need to start over as well.  That’s when I feel I’m not the only person who has messed up.  I’m not the only person who needs to start over.  I think the truest friends one forms are through struggles.  It’s a time where we are forced to reach out and assist one another, rather than just admire each other’s individual success.  In this art class, I’m realizing how we succeed together.