What I like most about myself: my ability to speak out

One of my goals as an eighth grader is to be less self-denigrating.  Thus far, 6 months into the school year, I feel that I have made significant progress.  I’m able to let go of things I don’t do well, instead, grasping the lessons I learn and I focus more on things that went well that day.  But another aspect to this journey is figuring out what I’m really good at and what I love most about myself.  Here’s my answer, to a question that I’ve been pondering for some time: my ability and courage to speak my mind, and my ability to communicate with others.

After dinner tonight, my mom and I were talking about how many Chinese people from China behave in the work force, [though this observation does not stand true for all Chinese].  My mom had previously observed how during large company meetings, Americans and Europeans who were part of the group talked the most, while she noticed that Chinese people didn’t talk as much...in fact, the majority stayed quiet.  I believe there is nothing inherently wrong with this, but I view it as a cultural construction, or what people from various are taught earlier in childhood.  My mom then talked about how as a student in grade school, conversations in class were strictly monitored.  No open discussions were held, either, as many schools in the US practice.  When my mom came to the US for college, she said how she was very surprised at how students spoke in open discussions, something she’d rarely experienced in grade school.  She was also surprised at how people could say whatever they wanted, whenever, in the conversation.  The quietness, and seemingly lack of participation from the Chinese could be the result of a habit they’d been taught.  

Then I asked my Mom, if she could speak up, would she.  Her answer was: it depends.  She said that since biting back her tongue had been a habit she’d nurtured since childhood, it’s very difficult to make adjustments now, though it is possible.  I then asked her, if you knew the right solution to a problem, would you speak up?  She replied: maybe.  She said she felt her English discouraged her to speak up.  

I feel very fortunate to be raised in a society where I can exercise freedom of speech.  What I say is not monitored by the teachers, and I can speak when I want to or feel a need to [in China, my dad said that the news is monitored by the government, thus creating bias].  I believe this is what I like most about myself, my extroverted persona.  My love for talking, yet equal earn to sit back and listen.  My ability to speak up when I feel a point is missing and not have to worry about being quieted and restrained.  My ability to communicate with others effectively, a habit which I have been encouraged to do since Kindergarten, in class discussions.  I truly believe I would not be the same person without my voice.  This I am grateful for.