Things I love Lately

Week 2 of school done. Onto Week 3. Since it's my senior fall term, it doesn't surprise me that my days are long and filled with to-dos. I completed a daunting list of to-dos this weekend, which I believe will benefit me greatly in this upcoming week as I shy closer to 1 month from turning in my earlies. When I've had a long emotional day, packed with activities, classes, meetings, and homework from 6:30 to midnight, I whisper to myself before bed that it's just 3 more months before I'm completely done with college work. Even during these long days where sunlight hours grow increasingly short, I'm holding onto new things I'm discovering that I enjoy. 

Pilates. I tried Pilates back in June and it's really changed the way I workout. Instead of running 5 miles, which equates around 50 minutes of cardio, and then walking a mile, 20 minutes, I will run around 4 miles and do 30 minutes of pilates in the end. I've gotten better muscle tone, hills are easier to run up, and I can finally do 10 good pushups. Recently, I added resistance bands to my routine and I've found that the same exercises are continuously challenging, which I love. 

G.E.M. She's a Chinese singer from Taiwan. I've been in love with her music lately. Not traditional Chinese music, but very upbeat pop. From what I've heard, she's pretty well known in Asia and from listening to her music, it doesn't come as a surprise. Though I have trouble picking out the lyrics, unlike other Chinese pop songs, I find the harmonies, the editing, and G.E.M's mixed usage of Chinese and English appealing. Her songs make up the majority of my "on repeat" playlist on Spotify because they're true "all-occasion" songs.

European History. I'm learning about the Renaissance in my European History right now. In previous history classes, the Renaissance was often referred to as a period of "enlightenment" which didn't really make sense to me. It's clear now that the Renaissance was a period of tremendous progress in the arts, sciences, and philosophy. But what intrigues me most about the time was how people's perceptions of their own life changed; they grew more outward-looking. Rather than focusing on the sole mission of getting to heaven, people wanted to live in the now…to be present. And this mentality is in part responsible for the tremendous amount of growth that occurred academically and culturally during the time. I suppose this points to the very importance of community engagement in today's society. While it was certainly emphasized back then amongst Renaissance thinkers, the importance of community service is no less important today in driving positive societal change. 

What are things you love lately?

One week

 It's amazing what can change in just one week. 

One week. 1/52 of a long year. Small but surprisingly powerful. Some weeks go by and I can't seem to pinpoint any noticeable changes in myself. Others go by and I struggle to realize the amount of chaos,hat occurred happened in just…one week. Why is this? Perhaps that's proves the efficacy of blogging once per week. I believe a person really can change in a matter of one week, for better or for worse. 

This past week, I started school. 

I got to know my prefects better. 

I attended a leadership training session about drugs and alcohol. 

I ended a relationship with a friend. 

I complied my summer's work of college essays. 

I received feedback on my common app essay. 

I met all my teachers for the first time. 

Ruth Bader Ginsberg passed away at 87.

While each of these moments doesn't directly change me on an individual scale, they collectively represent tangible personal growth in just one week. 

I learned more about myself this past week. 

My morales of fairness was challenged by my friend. 

I adjusted to my schedule for the upcoming 9 nine weeks. 

The culmination of a summer's work on college essays faced reality when I sent my drafts out to my counselor. 

The political landscape changed from just one week ago.

I am continuously amazed by the power of time. I suppose the only thing truly out of human control is this element. Some things only time can tell. For some, that time can't come quickly enough. For others, every week brings an opportunity to become a better person, to understand something more deeply, to support another. I realize again and again that the element moving me forward most is time. Hence, the power behind just one week.

Anxiety, Senior Year, and my goal

 I'm feeling a little anxiety as the first day of classes rolls around the corner. My day begins with my usual workout, followed by the first All School Meeting of the year. My last first ASM of high school. 

It's as if everything is a last first. Last first fall term. Last first time driving to campus in the fall. So many imminent changes in this upcoming year, from knowing where I'll go to college to how the remainder of the year will look. 

I'm trying to gather my thoughts before classes begin and I haven't yet finished working through the weeds. I thought back to what I wrote last week about summer 2020 being the three months that every preceding summer was spent fretting over. This past week I finally found a cohesive, clear way to say what I've been trying to express. This past summer was the most important summer of my childhood. Most important because it was the culmination of everything I've experienced at this point in my meager 17 years of existence. But it's also the most important because it's the summer that would help me transition from a child into an adult. It's the summer before I moved onto the next phase of my life. 

I'm walking into senior year, my first classes, and my last first ASM with one very clear goal for myself. In precedent years, many argued high school was just 3 years plus one term long. And I've heard people say this because many students give up, slack off, or experience an extreme case of senioritis in the winter and spring terms in their final year. My goal is to leave Andover with four solid years of high school under my belt. I signed up for high school, not 3 years and 1 term. I'll continue working hard, learning for the enjoyment of it, and attending all my classes. I must also ensure I continue to choose challenging courses and pushing myself to the limit. Because while I may be moving onto the next phase of my life (college), I'll never finish my academic endeavors so why stop now?

Reality

 "Reality leaves a lot to the imagination" -John Lennon

This week, reality slapped. Orientation begins this week. Classes begin in two weeks. The reality is that school is starting back up again, something that felt impossibly far way back in March when the pandemic hit. I suppose a part of me, in March, believed we would never reach this point. But somehow time just flew by, as I usually find out, and the day is creeping in closer than before. 

Reality slapped because this past week, I realized my summer is pretty much over. The long-anticipated summer before I apply to college is almost over. The summer where I would spend my days writing essays. A no-messing-around summer. In May, I feared for the subsequent three months before school and a large part of this comes from the anxiety that has built up over the years around summer 2020. I'm on the other side now. I made it through this summer and I accomplished what I had so fearfully accrued. 

Reality does leave a lot of room to the imagination. For me, I'm often entranced by the what if's. What if I procrastinated so much and didn't start my essays at all this summer? What if school never started again? What if life got in the way and I fell behind on college apps? The reality is that time will draw everything to a close. Imagination just scares us by making this stretch of time seem farther, larger, and more intimidating than it really is. Hence, to John Lennon's point.