5 Ways to Build A Better Character

Teenage years are known as the “coming of age” for English teachers, the “if it’s not on Instagram, it never happened” years for teenager’s themselves, or the “honey, get out of bed!” years for parents. Regardless of what name you have chosen to label the years you are 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, or 19, I can make a general statement and say that it is a time of confusion. For many teenagers, confusion can be defined as not knowing oneself, or not having the will to be oneself. Sadly, this is where personalities are lost. This is where many teenagers, and even children, begin to live their idol’s life.

Character, character, character. I believe that character (yes, I said that word again :)) is one of the most important concepts to grasp. You may be the greatest athlete in school, or the best test taker in the grade, however, none of these talents come close to the importance of being able to interact and effectively communicate with others.

Try one, two, or all five of these little tips. I hope you will find them somewhat useful. Close your eyes and thank yourself for attempting to build a better you.

Write a diary. Yeah, sounds pretty pathetic and more like something the typical bubble-gum girl would do, right? No. I disagree. I have been keeping a diary since I was in first grade, so I have

some experience (considering the stuff I write in there.) If you are one of those kids who are manipulated by your friend because they have more followers on Instagram than you, and are unable to speak up for your own rights, then this is the perfect opportunity to help build your own self confidence and recognize your true personality, apart from how you conduct yourself around your friend. If in reality you are afraid to speak your mind because you want that friend with lots of Instagram followers to like you, then keep a diary! Trust me, no one is going to argue with you! By keeping a diary, you will narrating your truth onto paper. This way, you will remember your genuine character in a sea of confusion.

Look at old photographs. Flipping through photos of when I was seven or eight, very innocent and unaware of the world, I saw snapshots of my old friends. I saw snapshots of the places I had visited.

I was even able to critique my smile through these photographs. Here is what I am trying to say: photographs recall memories of how you conducted yourself in the past. This can be compared to how you conduct yourself currently. Many of us will see a difference. Whether that difference sparks a reaction is up to you.

Meditate. When you meditate, you remain in a state of mindfulness and peace. Unless you secretly talk to your friend on the phone when you meditate, it is a time, whether it is two minutes or half an hour, of reflection. Many teachers at school will offer meditation breaks during long blocks. During these minutes of silence, you will learn to relax, and cultivate positive energy. This positive energy can be channeled in any direction, and when it is funneled correctly, to the right aspects in life, it will assuredly bring joy, peace, and develop stronger character.

Learn to cultivate your own happiness. I remember when I was younger, I relied on someone else to make a joke. Happiness became contingent. I remember when I was younger and in math class,

one boy was the only person who had solved a difficult problem. My teacher walked up to him and said, “So, how did you solve this math problem? What steps did you take?” That boy answered, “uhhh…uhhh… (unable to answer) I used my brain?” I remember the whole class cracking up at this joke. I remember it making my day. I remember relying on him for happiness. Through years of learning and trying, I think middle school has changed my perspective. Now, I know that being self supporting is more effective in the long run. I will not only be able to bring bliss to myself, but I will be able to spread it to those who are still discovering how.

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. That was me from Pre-k to the beginning of middle school. I HATED making mistakes, and for those psychologists out there, here’s what I was thinking: 100% on

tests means success in future, if you have a mistake, 100% goes down the toilet. Now I understand how pressuring this “theory” becomes as you grow older. I mean, let’s take a breather, how many people are successful for solely being good at test taking? Mistakes and grades simply show a margin of where you are, and what you still need to learn. Mistakes help us grow, they help us improve. By learning that it is okay to make mistakes, I have taken another giant step in my development towards a better character.

Life's Little Instructions to Middle School Survival

William Snell once wrote Life’s Little Instructions, beautifully decorated onto a poster, in the finest prints, in the lushest colors. I saw the poster for first time in my dentist’s office when I was eight years old. I still think about it.

Reader, you’re reading my version of this piece. I haven’t lived long enough to make a full and official list titled Life’s Little Instructions, so today I will only be writing Life’s Little Instructions to Middle School Survival. Whether you’re an average student, an A+ student or you’re failing your classes, these little pieces of advice may just help you slip through middle school.

Be yourself. I experience assimilation in my school. Too much assimilation in terms of how people conduct themselves, or how they dress themselves. It’s almost like a treasure hunt: the first day of school is the day you see the map. You begin the school year with the end in mind, who you want to be like, who you want to like you, what social groups you want to be in, so others below you will act submissive. The first day of school, I observed, was the one day where all the new students were themselves. I was able to see their personalities in front of the mask that they extracted later in the year. But I have learned that if you just be yourself, you will still develop friendships. I have observed that these friendships tend to be more meaningful, as you are surrounding yourself with people who authentically have similar interests.

Do not procrastinate. Although it does mean you will have something to do tomorrow, I find procrastination leads to sleep deprivation and an leaves unsatisfactory feeling. I think the best way to avoid procrastination is to prioritize. Instead of thinking about what I want to do at that particular moment, I think about how much less rushed and how much more freedom I will have after finishing my priorities.

Thank your teachers. Before stepping out of the classroom, I will always say something along the lines of ‘thank you, have a wonderful day.’ Teachers are paid for students to be vacuous of their material, and they are still paid when students succeed. When I thank my teacher, they [I hope] understand that I appreciate the time and effort they put into making sure that I understand their material. Besides showing that you have adequate manners, thanking teachers after each class also shows that you care about the class, and therefore, it may become easier to ask that teacher for help later on. Thanking teachers is the first step to building a sturdy relationship, which will benefit throughout one’s whole educational career.

Accept treats when it’s someone’s birthday snack. When there are birthdays, kids bring in treats for the whole class. This is such a minor detail, but accepting the treat is encouraging the confidence and celebration of this important, coming of age event for somebody else. (Of course don’t have the treat if you have an allergy :))

Get your energy out. No matter what school you attend, the school day should not be comprised of learning for six hours straight. When there are little breaks in the middle of classes, or lunch time, make sure you release your energy. Whether that energy comes in a form of speech or physical activity, when I make sure that I get my energy out, it helps me stay focused in the latter classes. Also, it keeps me more mindful and peaceful. It helps me relieve stress and prioritize, so that the lesson is on the top of my mind.

Come to school with a full stomach. Skipping breakfast might be the worst idea. For me, I eat the most during breakfast and least during dinner. As a result, breakfast has turned into my fuel. Coming to school on an empty

stomach might make you more tired and less focused during the first few classes.

Come into class expecting to learn something. The worst is when I’ve been in class with “know–it–alls.” The obvious reason I put quotations around the words know–it–all, is because no one is the universe apprehends everything. There is always more room to grow. Also, the less obvious reason I have inserted the quotation marks is because the kids who are the “know–it–alls” tend to be the students with too much ego, and too little reliable knowledge. By coming to class, expecting to learn something, I find myself more keen and alert towards the details of a lesson. The lesson also becomes more intriguing.

SO LONG, READERS!

How to be a better person

There are many ways to be a better person. There are many great people in world who have investigated ways to become a “great” person, instead of a “good” person. Last week, I experienced this first hand. I heard the details matter that distinguished a great person from a good person. Let me tell you in simple words; details matter.

2:20. This marks the depart time of the buses, that make their way through the city to the upper school campus for athletics. Last week, I was sitting in the front seat of the bus on the way to fencing practice. Kids were clamboring into the bus, tossing their coats, and backpacks onto the already crowded seats. Jackets were tussled and heavy backpacks slammed people in the face as they floated by. Boots shuffled down the narrow aisle, leaving wet dusty tracks behind. The bus before us, carrying the boys hockey team, sprang to life and rolled down the driveway. Our bus couldn’t leave, as a small line was still waiting to be diminished at the entrance of the automobile. I sat in the first seat with Alexandra, patiently waiting for the bus to depart.

“So, how was your day?” She asked me.

“There’s a lot of homework and some tests tomorrow, but I think it’s coming along well.” I replied. “How about you?”

“Fine. I just got my science quiz, and I did better than I thought.”

“Congrats.” There was a moment of silence as Alexandra greeted the students who passed in the aisle, and I stared out of the window. The bus driver suddenly stood up. He placed two of his fingers into his mouth and sound waves, occurring in the form of a whistle, easily traveled to the end of the bus. The chatting students quieted down.

“We’re about to leave. Everybody sit down.” His bland voice boomed down the aisle.

“Where’s my brother?” Alexandra asked me quickly after the bus driver sat down in his seat.

“ Where is he? I haven’t seen him either.” I said. The bus driver looked over his shoulder.

“Are we missing someone?”

“Yes, my brother.” Alexandra replied urgently, “He’s probably getting his violin. I’m sorry…he’s always step behind–”

“It’s okay. I’ll give him a minute.” The bus driver said, “but the other sports buses behind us as waiting to pull out of the driveway. I don’t want to make everyone late for sports.”

“Yes, I understand. I’m sure he’ll make it.” Alexandra promised. She pulled out her watch and stared at it, hoping her brother would show up, every time the clock ticked. Seeing that the bus wasn’t planning on moving for another minute, the naughty kids at the back of the bus began to waver, some standing up again to talk to their friends sitting on the seat ahead.

“Oh, where is Harry? I can’t believe he’s still getting his violin? Where is he?” Alexandra looks desperately outside through the bus window. I sensed the bus driver is beginning to feel antsy. The bus carrying the girls basketball team behind us pulled up tighter and tighter. Our fencing bus waited for another second before beginning to creep slowly, a few miles per hour. That’s when Harry burst through the door and sprinted for the fencing bus, carrying two violins, his fencing equipment and a full backpack on his back.

“HARRY! HARRY! HURRY UP!” Alexandra shouts through the open bus door. Harry rapidly steps onto the bus with a thump, as his load pulled him downwards. His first notion is to apologize to the bus driver.

“I’m sorry, sir. I was trying to retrieve these violins. Thank you for waiting for me.”

“No problem, son.” Harry hurries off towards the back of the bus to find a seat for himself, his violins and oversize backpack. Then, the bus driver then turns around to face Alexandra and I, who are relievingly sitting in the front seat and says,

“I’m glad I waited for him. Your brother is the most polite student on this bus. He always says ‘Have a nice day’ when he leaves.”

Little details make all the difference. We should all take an extra second to say each day to say, ‘Thank you, have a nice day’ instead of just the ordinary ‘Thank you.’ Little adjustments and supplements to our daily speech are noticeable. Try to speak from the heart, not on a whim. Simply spending those extra seconds to thank someone will show them how you truly appreciate their service.

The Job of a Boy. The Job of A Man. The View From a Girl.

In English, we read two articles. One was called “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid and other was called “Boy” by Bret Johnston. These articles were completely stereotypes for each gender,  and expectancies for each gender, almost as if we are all living under separate stars.

The Job of a Boy. The Job of A Man. The View From a Girl, tells of the mental and physical progression of boys to men. Told from the perspective of a women, my version of “Boy” and “Girl” infers oppression felt by girls, however, told in the perspective of boys. Sometimes we do not see that there are kind men on this Earth. We do not see this because they are forced to act oppressive towards their counterparts. Or else they will be deemed “boys.” Notice the progression between the age groups. Notice the mentality change. Notice the daunting attitude.

Act abstract and dumb, act as if you will never impact society; think you are a person who just takes up another spot on Earth. Be obsessed with stupid rappers, and listen to them through your flagrant BEATS headphones. Ted Cruz is the peel of your banana, but the edible part of your fruit is truly vacillate. Ostentatiously, with your back hunched, and sweats clinging loosely to your skinny thighs, walk through every atrium in your brand new football cleats. Who cares if you actually play football? You’re just doing it to act as the magnets and attract us girls. When you text, reply with words along the lines of “yes,” “no” or “maybe.” Act as if the girls have to insert the tedious paragraphs. Apparently, someone nominated your job in life to act clueless, leaving us all the hard work.

www.groupon.com

You’re still that clueless. Sure, you’ve learned what Ted Cruz truly stands for, and you’ve learned that your job is to produce change. You’ve come a long way, but you still have no idea how we feel. We’re the shoppers, and the cookers. When we’re at school on Tuesdays, we are known as the Pizza Moms. When you obtain a good job, and that cheerleader wife, make sure you buy her a Mom Car for Valentine’s Day. Save yourself some money, and go buy a Porsche. Act protective of your wife. You think she sucks at driving. Make sure she does too. You’re job is to critique and suppress; but what if I can’t critique and suppress women; then you might as well walk into the office with your football cleats from seventh grade.

How to Be A Girl

Yes, this piece is inundated with stereotypes of girls. No, don’t even ask me to whom I am writing. Before you read this piece, remember that this is how many girls feel: we are silently screaming inside.

Treading lightly as possible,

you watch where you place your feet,

in the endless sea of chatter,

so you pass within a beat.

Hold you head up high,

but place yourself below,

for you are not a worthy as a boy,

no, you’re far too slow.

Your posture must be taut,

and you must carry in your hand,

a smartphone of the newest generation,

and dress in the sexist brand.

In math class you are placed,

with a ferocious team of boys,

who could not pay more attention,

to their stupid little toys.

You cannot ask a question

you’re the timid one in class,

and if a question does slip out,

you’ll be thrown upon the grass.

And if you choose to speak up,

be prepared to turn blue,

for boys will stare at you endlessly,

like you're the one in a zoo.

~Ava Long

The Power of Social Media

I am a big believer in communication. I am also a big believer in the various forms of communication. Such examples include writing, email or hosting a conference. All of these are forms of sharing ideas. It’s simple, when you share ideas, you communicate.

Unfortunately, I am here to tell you that nothing ever succeeds without setbacks. Fortunately, I am also here to inform you of simple ways to make this conflict better. Let’s reflect: it is the 21st century. What is the greatest form of communication above all others? Let’s face it: social media.

Social Media Icons

A few weeks ago, I was browsing tedTalks. I watched Wael Ghonim’s “Let’s design social media that drives real change”. At the sight of the title, a little bell rang off in my head. What is driving self-confidence down the drain? Where has body image showed up frequently? Where are people expected to be perfect? Yes, you guessed it. Instagram, facebook, snapchat, whatever…you get the point.

According to Common Sense Media, by the age of 6, kids have learned about dieting. The saddest part to this statement, is that many may have tried it. Also, between 1999 to 2006, children ,ages 12 and under, hospitalized for eating disorders have spiked 112 percent. During this time, social media has also reached its peak. What is its impact on children’s self esteem?

Its negative. I think it’s fair to say that most kids, teenagers and adults in the United States have access to internet. Many young children have access to social media as well. What are they seeing? They are seeing underweight models walking up and down the catwalks. They are seeing thigh gaps and bikini bridges and taking “Am I Pretty?” quizzes. They are posting pictures and asking questions like “do I look good?” They are seeing ripped football players drinking soda and they are seeing pictures of their favorite actors smoking.

Currently, there are positive effects of social media. But we could create an even more positive impact on the world using the social media. Here’s how.

Tweet about good causes. Due to its popularity, fundraisers and other organizations of its sort are a useful center of conversation. You will gradually spread the word about a particular cause that will benefit not only yourself, but most likely drive a positive impact towards someone else’s life. Your posts will imbue change in a number of people without hurting them.

Avoid spreading rumors. In Ghonim’s tedTalk, he says that spreading rumors should be avoided at all costs. One of my art teachers once told me a story. Rumors are like the feathers of a pillow: once you release them into the city, you can never fully recover the collection. This incompetence to recollect these feathers is what leaves many children with drooping confidence levels.

Remember that social media is global. During hangouts, my friend always brings her phone. One thing she always tells me when she texts is that she is never the same person she is in real life. I’ve never figured out whether this is positive or negative. Regardless of how we post, we should remember that there is some else on the other sides of the phone. We need to be more aware of our behavior on social media and the web. If you would not say something to someone in real life, don’t post it on social media.

When commenting, be aware of what you are saying. If any of you have read my previous post about Lizzie Velasquez and her experience being titled “The World’s Ugliest Woman” and her fight to choose happiness when Youtube comments read, “Just shoot me from her ugliness,” or “she’s permanently blinding me!” then you’ll have prior knowledge. When you comment, use your head. When you ask a question, also use your head. I see no reason in questioning something about yourself that you would not question about your friend. When you are answering someone’s question, be aware that there is someone else on the other side of the screen. Your comments could permanently ruin their self-esteem.

Be happy with your accomplishments, but keep modesty in your vocabulary. Stating your accomplishments may be a vital part to the encouragement and development of our society. For example, let’s say you won the violin judged competition in your region. By posting about your experience and your accolade, you will be encouraging others to try harder for next year’s competition. However, when you constantly post about your win half and year later, happiness turns into bragging. We may end up daunting those trying to follow our paths.

Note: Some of these tips are gathered from Ghonim’s tedTalk, others are my own thoughts for social change.

CitationCommon Sense Media. "At What Age Does Media Begin Affecting

My Child's Body Image?" Common Sense Media. Common Sense Media, 2016. Web. 07 Feb. 2016. <https://www.commonsensemedia.org/media-and-body-image/at-what-age-does-media-begin-affecting-my-childs-body-image>.

Ted Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/wael_ghonim_let_s_design_social_media_that_drives_real_change/transcript?language=en#t-239437

  

Picture:

Aha-soft-icons. Social LongShadows Icons. Digital image. Deviant Art. Deviant Art, 10 Sept. 2014. Web. 14 Feb. 2016.

Things That Make Me Happy

I believe life is short. Too short to accomplish everything we have the potential to accomplish. We have an infinite number of possibilities in a lifetime. We surreptitiously learn something new each day. Sometimes we do not recognize our competence. Sometimes, these possibilities are lurking around the corner during a day where everything seems to be going down the ski slope. I understand that everyone has a “terrible” day every once in awhile. Terrible meaning, what happened this morning is ruining my WHOLE day. These moments don’t have to be given the power to steal a day’s opportunity.

I am constructing a mental list of literal and abstract objects that spark me happiness. This list is comprised of things that instantaneously imbue emotion and emit positive energy. Here we go.

Three cat cupcakes. What do they reveal inside? What are their personalities?

Cupcakes…duh. The colors and the shapes of the frosting are all different. Besides tasting sweet and being the culprit of a sugar rush, cupcakes represent a sense of diversity and secrets. Every cupcake store designs different flavors, shapes and themes. This variety shows differences that exist in the real world. Although some cupcakes are beautiful on the outside, they may not taste good with the frosting paired, vice versus with a less-well decorated cupcake. The frosting acts almost like a mask, hiding the real personality of the cupcake. Similar to a human, we cannot judge people based on their appearance. We can also not judge a day based on one down looking moment that occurred. Like the frosting, the “doom of the day” may subtly be hiding the real purpose of its occurrence. So yes, when I’m in a crabby mood, I think about cupcakes. I think about how they hide true identity.

Yoga. It challenges my body and it relaxes my mind. I have always venerated the shapes and grace within a practice. It flows smooth, like a river in the woods. The music, producing imagery of a

Tree Pose in yoga in front of the sunset. Find your balance.

glistening stream, trickling down rock submerged beneath. It represents how I want my day to go. Uniting my mind and my body’s coordination, seeing photos of yogis and simply practicing allows me to liberate stress and anxiety. During my practices, I make it a rule to focus on the moment, not the future, not the past, and to take care of my effusive emotions.

Running…running…running. Faster, stronger and built with endurance. Running the sixth mile of the course, I am exhausted. Every mile hurts more than the last. Every muscle seems to be strained. The air is biting, my fingers are numb. However, I stay adamant, and maintain the pace until the finish line. The finish line is another story. I walk into my house, feeling accomplished. I have earned the title to say, yeah, I ran six miles. I feel as if I can conquer the world. I can take on anything. When I’m having a bad day, I think about running. Friends, the road is always rocky. Similar to when I finish the six mile course, when I’m struggling, I weigh the benefits versus the torture. I would endure the torture for its benefits. I suffer for a reason. To become better.

Writing. I write to be expressive. I write to dig deep within my own opinions and find ways to

Writing from Winter girls.

communicate important messages with others. I write to start discussions. I write my confessions. Writing is like talking to your paper. When something horrendous happens, I have a tendency to want to spit it out instantaneously. I want to release the held-in pain. Writing helps me do so. It helps me relax and it ensures that I don’t hold onto stress. I can tip the jar of ink, and it will not spill. If it spills, it stains the paper forever.

Citation of Digital Images

Clever Cupcakes. 3 Cat Cupcakes. Digital image. Flickr. Flickr, 13 Dec. 2008. Web. 5 Feb. 2016. <https://www.flickr.com/photos/clevercupcakes/3110878899>

Take Back Your Health Co. Ake Back Your Health Conference 2015 Los Angeles. Digital image. Flickr. Flickr, 12 Mar. 2015. Web. 5 Feb. 2016. <https://www.flickr.com/photos/130855607@N05/16161480194>.