I can barely describe how I feel. It's a bittersweet moment for me. I'm leaving the school I've attended for four years, the place I've gotten to know so well, in one week. One week. Then I become an alumnus of this institution. I cannot believe it. I still remember so vividly the day I moved into Isham, how surprised I was that there was an elevator in the dorm, touched by the seniors who helped me move my belonging into my room, sweating from the torturously hot day. I still remember that day so clearly. I remember my body shaking unrelentingly the morning we were driving up to campus. I told myself that I wouldn't be nervous, that I would have myself under control. But at the sight of the bell tower during my first move-in day, even my arms began to shake. Did I belong here? Was I accepted by accident?
I cannot believe I'm one week away from leaving this institution. I simply cannot believe how quickly these past four years have flown by. Truly in the blink of an eye. Now on my way out of Andover, I have a couple of things sitting in front of me. I have a pile of finals work to complete. No, this is not the time to give up. In fact, this is the last final opportunity for me to actually show my ability to work. I accomplished some more bucket list items this week, including going to the Addison Gallery of American Art and going downtown to La Fina for dinner with my family tonight. Perhaps one last thing that I need to do is find the "secret garden" on the Abbot campus.
I am flooded with feelings of gratitude for my parents, peers, instructors, and coaches who have guided me these four years. I am also growing oddly introspective lately about how I've changed as a person after coming to Andover. I'm reflecting on the dos and don'ts that I've learned here that will hopefully make my college experience even better. This morning on the elliptical, I began trying to put together some funny moments during these last four years. This place has paradoxically sucked out a lot of energy from me, but it's also given me so much life. It's one of those ineffable balances that leaves me shaken to consider. And here I am, on my last stretch at Andover, still stressed about an English essay, a history research paper, and a math test. A norm that I've honestly grown to love. Busyness is golden.
Some emojis describing how I'm feeling right now because when life becomes inexplicable, we should turn to art:
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