How kindness manifests

I've been thinking a bit about kindness in the context of manifestation. How come some people appear unctuous and kind until you hear them go behind their friend's back? Or others sulkily sit in the corner of the room and you can't help wondering who they are. This is not meant to categorize people. Rather, I hope understanding that kindness manifests in people differently will inspire us to give everyone a chance, no matter whether they're smiling when they see us or look blank.
 

I believe there are four primary kinds of people when it comes to the manifestation of kindness. Some people appear kind because they genuinely are. I have an immense amount of respect for these people who believe in the best in others, ask others how they're doing, and seem sincerely concerned about other people's wellbeing. I have a friend on Snapchat who periodically asks me how I'm doing. Just out of the blue. We start a little streak and she always asks out of true kindness with no strings attached. She doesn't want anything from me or ask anything of me; she just wants to know how I'm doing. Thank you, EL, for showing me true kindness on both the inside and out. 

On the opposite side, there are people who appear overtly nice when you talk to them. These people spark great conversations, they give great advice on the spot, and they're energetic about life. While these people are few in number, I've learned to notice them when you for simple favors. They sort of…crack in these moments. They make quick excuses not to help you out on simple, non-time consuming tasks. It's not that these people aren't nice, they are. They just need to focus on themselves before focusing on helping their friends.

Then there are the people who aren't as kind and don't care to hide it. They're vicious on the outside and it's hard to reach them inside. Too often they're ignored by folks who "don't want to trigger them" but in turn this often backfires, leading to greater degrees of self-doubt. I seek to understand these people. While few in number, I don't believe people mean harm to the world and that everyone deserves a chance to be heard and understood. After all, experiences influence our actions more than anything so there may be a reason why some people have a darkness buried within. 

And then I've noticed a fourth kind of person. Again, I don't intend to categorize people and this is from my mere observation. They're the people who live with good intentions, to be kind to the world and people. But they don't show it. It's shrouded behind a scowl, a frown, a blank stare, or skepticism. These people are kind but too often they're not given a chance to show it. People falsely perceive just the frown instead of what lies beneath it. These are the people who also need to be given a chance to show themselves. Maybe some simple ice-breaker questions such as tell me about a funny moment is all that it takes. Maybe it will take more. 

I share my observations here because high school taught me that not everyone can walk around with a smile, can comfortably sit down at any table in the dining hall and have a conversation with people, or feel comfortable enough with themselves to attend massive social gatherings. But too often, it's the first two kinds of people who seem to cruise through socially by virtue of a natural, collective human instinct that attracts us to sources of joy. I hope this inspires a sense of renewal and reflection. So now I ask you, how does your kindness manifest?

Some weeks

Some weeks go by faster than others. This past week was another example of those weeks-are-minutes moments. Every minute of the day seemed to be put to use as I worked through some college questions.

Some weeks, history is made and this past week was one of them. For the first time in history, a female person of color has been put on the ballot of a major political party. Kamala Harris would be the first female vice president, first black vice president and first Asian-American vice president if elected. Almost since it's inception, American has never just been one cohort of people; America was built on diversity and immigrants. It's about time that we see that representation in politics. It's not enough for the President, leader, or influencers to say they care about black lives matter, or that they're not racist, or that they support the causes of POCs. They have to show it and nothing shows this celebration of diversity more than through a critical presidential election like 2020. 

Some weeks, the weather is scorching behind reason. Every day this past week saw temperatures in the high 80s to 90s. It was terrifyingly hot and a stark reminder that global warming is happening. I usually love to read outdoors and take a nap under the umbrella but it was so hot this past week that sweat seeped through my shirt even if I was sitting still. 

Some weeks, waking up is easier than others. This past week I didn't accidentally sleep in. By high school, most people have established a personal system for waking up. Some people need to set the alarm earlier than they actually need to be up and others wake up as soon as it goes off. I'm one of those people who needs to be prepared to wake up so I set my alarm a tad bit earlier than I actually want to be up. The problem I've encountered for much of the summer is waking up 1 to 1.5 hours later. This week I was up within 40 minutes of my alarm going off so my day started just that much earlier but it made me feel greatly productive. 

It's about getting through the weeks. I'm looking forward to the week when classes restart. I'm looking forward to the week I turn in my early apps. I'm looking forward to the week when I finally get to see my friends in person. The days just seem to fly by so rapidly they're gone before we realize it. But weeks are still (thankfully) slower. 

 

The Dentist…during COVID

I'm not sure why I'm so surprised by my visit to the dentist's office yesterday. I knew I shouldn't have expected the same old same old protocol, but another part of me wasn't exactly sure what to expect. Blogging this today might just be a stark reminder for the future of what my generation has experienced in what history books will likely call "The COVID-19 Pandemic" or something to that effect. 

It began with the door. Signs taped all over the door. Red pages printed out and taped on the inside of the door saying DO NOT ENTER. Call ………… for your appointment. The usual waiting room was gone, the receptionist non-existent, and the comfy chairs that I always sit-in in the waiting room out of sight. I waited outside for my appointment after giving the number on the card a call. A couple of minutes later, my hygienist came out a side door and beckoned for me to enter. She was clad head to toe in a blue gown, the usual dentist's attire. What was different though, was her grey plastic gloves, plastic face shield, and what looks like 3 masks. 

The temperature checker beeps and I read 97.9. No fever. I made it past the first phase. Symptoms list. I answer no to all the questions from chest pain to difficulty breathing to fever over 100 degrees in the last week. Phew. Second stage check. Then she squirts the most liquidated hand sanitizer on my hands that I've ever tried. It runs down the side of my hand as my other hand reaches to catch it. "It's super runny," she says. "For higher alcohol content?" I ask. She nods her head in confirmation. When the hand sanitizer dries on my hands, she hands me thick blue plastic gloves in size small. It's only until then that we wind our way through the office and into the room. 

I don't see anyone as we're winding our way through the building. All the doors are closed. No one in the hallways. Feels like a ghost office almost. Just me and my hygienist. Even through my mask, I can smell alcohol, cleaning wipes. I can hear machines buzzing throughout the office, which my hygienist explains kills bacteria and viruses in air molecules. 

She flosses and cleans my teeth after I swoosh with a liquid that kills bacteria and viruses in the mouth. But she doesn't brush. "Creates an air vacuum," she explains. When I ask whether the retainer cleaning service is still offered, she says it also creates an air vacuum for germs. It's amazing what a pandemic can bring to light. Things we don't even question on a daily basis like what creates an air vacuum suddenly become the most important aspect. Sitting in a waiting room suddenly becomes a problem and wearing three layers of masks becomes a norm. 

I saw a total of two people in the dentist's office yesterday: my doctor and my hygienist. But what struck me on the drive back home was frankly how safe I felt. I did not feel like I would get the coronavirus on my trip to the dentist because of the strict protocols. And this is good for the economy. I believe consumer behavior and faith is such an important predictor of economic performance particularly in the upcoming months so if people can just feel safe in their environments, they'll be much more likely to undertake normal activities such as dental appointments. It's just odd that this is now what feels safe. 

Every night I watch the news

Every night I watch the news, I want to scream. I find myself furious at the television, even though it's not the television's fault that the country has fallen into the state it finds itself in. This is a precarious time in the United States, one to surely make the textbooks. America is in pain. Some are grieving the losses of family members from COVID-19, which have topped well over 150,000, and others are engaged in protests against police brutality in a fight for racial equality. These are no light issues. 

Every night I watch the news, I want to yell at the people not wearing masks, not social distancing, and crowding on beaches. It's as if they simply don't trust the science we can ascertain about COVID-19, that it spreads through air particles, that it's highly contagious, that masks help, and that there can be long-term implications for perfectly healthy victims even if they don't die. The nation's top infectious disease doctor is being shunned by the President as a political move so while this science is reaching the ears of many Americans, it's the ones who simply don't care or who see taking precautions against COVID-19 as a political statement who are causing great harm to this country. It's paradoxical from the perspective of a high school senior who's in the midst of the college application process. While this is obviously not at the forefront of the nation's mind right now, it is on mine. And I can't help but wondering, what's the point of education if some of the most educated people right now are being shunned by the president?

Every night I watch the news, I think about the economic impacts of COVID-19. The US produces 2 trillion dollars of GDP roughly every 5 weeks. This simply means that additional week we spend in quarantine amasses to massive losses. Every week we can reduce of quarantine and every mask someone wears to slow down the spread of the virus will contribute to the speed at which we can return to normalcy. The US GDP contracted 32.9% this past quarter. If this country doesn't start taking this virus seriously, it will prolong the economic effects, more people will lose their jobs, homes, and not be able to afford food. I'm scared to know how this US will recover in the next 5 years, but from what I'm sensing, this is something that will take years to bounce back from. As long as the virus rages in this country, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It will take a serious effort from everyone to stop the virus before we can return to some degree of normalcy. 

Every night I watch the news, I can't help but think how this administration has resurfaced some deep racists. Racism is unacceptable. That statement has no political party affiliation. I feel like racism has never been so imminent and forefront of a problem since I've been alive, and I'm glad some of the dark truths about the injustices in this country are surfacing. Nonetheless, to see people mowing down peaceful protests on TV and to see the national guard disbanded upon our own citizens is disgusting. These are not the ways social injustices should resurface, though history has shown it is unambiguous acts of violence such as those that ignite peaceful conversations. It's a shame and a disgrace to call myself an American at this point in history. America was built by immigrants and people of color and for these groups to experience continued ostracization in this country is shocking.

Every night I watch the news, I try to remain hopeful that all these crises toppled on each other will bring forth change. There is a lot going on in this country and around the world right now. This new decade surely hasn't hit us smoothly but I'm optimistic that this epoch of grief is where monumental change, governmental, business, social, can bud.