The thing I just don't forget

I've been moved time and time again by The Help.  I first encountered this book on Amazon Charts a few years ago. Though lengthy, every chapter drew me in and the emotional connection I developed with the main characters made sad scenes heart-wrenching. It's one of the few books I've read and cried to.

Several years and a new house later, I'd been arranging my bookshelf and "shelf of favorites" when I found The Help again. Time has taken away a precise recollection of the plot but it hasn't robbed me of all the emotions this book induced within me. Reallocating that book onto my shelf of favorites elicited a wow moment. I knew I was holding something dear to me, but I couldn't pinpoint what about the story had made it so spectacular. Even though I had read The Help way back in 7th grade, I did remember clearly how it made me feel.

I think that's what makes emotion so inspiring, potent, and soberizing. Emotion is one of those things I just don't forget. Even if I forgot what something was about, what someone said, or what someone did or gave me, I remember how it or he or she or they made me feel. And that feeling can bring back nostalgia, tears, or happiness sporadically. Sometimes it even feels unwarranted but what my heart is trying to tell me is that something touched me and it's time to reexamine that moment. 

I'm not one to talk about my emotions. In fact, I try to strip as much emotion down to its core as possible. That's something that changed in me from middle school to high school and I think it can be spotted with a keen eye in my blog posts over the years. I've grown less emotional, less prone to inspiration, more numerical, and I'm at the age in my life where I'm beginning to see the flaws in this world. It's no longer rainbows and unicorns, this country is messy. This world is messy. And that's something emotion disabled my middle school self to discern. 

Last night, I watched The Help on Netflix. Reconnecting with the plot brought back that wow moment. As scenes passed by, I remembered exactly how I felt at those moments and it was rewarding to relive those emotions through seeing it on screen. The second time, it hit harder. I'm uncertain if the reason I found myself crying throughout the movie was because of the emotional connections developed with the characters or because I apprehended how disconnected I've grown towards reliving past emotions over the years. 

Have enough courage

"Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time" -Maya Angelou

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

It's been a dreary, hot, and humid kind of day for the past week. Every morning when I step out for my run, I instantly feel wrapped in suffocatingly wet weather. 

So I've spent some time reading The Color Purple which arrived at my doorstep earlier this week. Walker truly plays with the power of literature here, telling the story of two African-American sisters, separated in their teens, for 40 decades through letters written in correspondence to each other during those years. I choose this book as my next read in the first place mostly because I saw the special place it holds in classic American literature. It definitely touched upon some of the most pressing social issues, even though it was written in 1982 and takes place in the early 1900s. 

The protagonist, Celie, is an African-American lesbian woman. As a teenager, her father gave her away to another man for marriage, effectively separating Celie from her sister Nettie and her young children. But Celie never loves her husband, who is referred to as Mr._____. While playing the role of a wife, she meets several important characters who will shape her life over the next 40 years, including Shug Avery, a sexy, stylish blues singer, Mr._____'s son Harpo, and his wife Sofia. 

There are so many powerful themes in The Color Purple. Perhaps one of the strongest themes was that of defying gender roles. While Celie is an obedient wife, who loves children and tending the house, she is abused by Mr.______, who exploits her obedience and voicelessness to punish her for not being the woman he truly loves, Shug Avery. Celie observes Harpo and his new wife Sofia's relationship. As much as Harpo loves Sofia, Sofia acts out of her own will. She refuses to be reduced in power because of her gender, so she defies every one of Harpo's commands. When of the most powerful moments in the book is when Harpo asks Celie how he can get Sofia to act like her. Celie advises him to beat Sofia, just as Mr._____ does to herself. When Sofia confronts Celie about her advice, Celie realizes why she even suggested a beating: she's jealous that she can't be as assertive as Sofia and she realizes what level of inhumanity she's been reduced to as a result of her being obedient. 

I felt several strong themes developing from this early scene, including the power of strong female relationships in fighting oppression and gender role,  sexism, and racism. I think the way Walker chose to 

tell this story made it even more powerful, allowing readers to gain insight into the thoughts of the Celie and Nettie. While probably not my favorite book of all time, The Color Purple addresses so many key, overlooked, and difficult-to-address issues in society. It's one of those books whose narration and characters just move you as you read. 

Perhaps my favorite quote from the book:

“It make a lot [of difference], say Squeak. When I was Mary Agnes I could sing in public."

Cats and moving

We're done moving!

As our family begins adjusting to our new home, I think one of the most interesting aspects of the entirety of this process is how my cats have been coping with the changes. I used to like cats quite a bit when I was younger. Now that I'm older, I see taking care of them as more of a nuisance than joy. But when I opened their carriers the night we moved and saw them reluctant to crawl out, paralyzed with a fear that seemed to freeze their joints, I began to soften. 

I have two cats. One of them will be 20 years old this fall and the only time she moved was 20 years ago at the age of 8 weeks old. I consider her a very intelligent creature, as she always finds ways to outsmart humans regarding her bathroom habits. The younger cat is 10 years old and he's always been less agile both physically and mentally. He was already 6 months old when we first brought him home from the breeder, so his major move was just 9.5 years ago. It was interesting to see how quickly they were able to adjust to the new place, which is both roomier and has a more complex layout. 

The first night, they slept in my parents' bedroom in their carriers, grasping to the last strand of the life they once had. The first morning was difficult too. We had to lock them in the bathroom as the movers finished up unloading the furniture. None of them felt comfortable walking through the house without a human companion, even our intelligent 20-year-old lady. It was interesting to see how they surveyed every room, wandering in and out of every closet, smelling every corner of every room. 

I believe two things confused both of them. Firstly, the staircase. Our old house has a straight staircase that went straight up from one floor to the next. This house has a curved staircase and I unexpectedly witnessed my younger cat slip on the turning stair. Secondly, there are two ways to enter the kitchen, through the dining room and through a hallway parallel to the dining room. Both cats were very confused by this layout, especially since there's a swinging door that separates the entrance from the dining room. One of the funniest moments was when I saw my younger cat (the not so bright one :)) staring at me in the dining room through the door to the kitchen. He seemed to think that entering the kitchen was a one-way rotary where you entered through the hallway and exited through the dining room. And he wouldn't budge when I tried to direct him the other way! It took him a couple days to adjust to this layout. 

We've been in this house for four days now and our 20-year-old cat is living her best life. It's evident that she's completely comfortable in the new space. She eats without fear and has no problem coming down the stairs and navigating the house. We even took her outside onto the porch last night and she didn't appear threatened by the new space at all. But the other guy is living a different tale. He barely eats and always sits on the side of the jacuzzi, squeezed between the tub itself and the wall. 

What a spectacle it is to watch these two cats. I think the higher level of intelligence displayed by my older cat has served her well in adjusting. She's needed less time and knows that as long as her owners are here, everything is safe. My younger cat, on the other hand, still believes something will poach him as he eats, which is causing him to turn his head around in fright after every single bite. It's been a joy to supervise these two over the last couple of days. And perhaps there is some joy in having pets, particularly when you realize that they really do trust you as their owner :) Happy 4th of July Weekend. 

Staying on a carpet they recognize Day 1