Interview with Dr. Mishy Lesser

“Learn to listen deeply to others, expecting to learn something about them and about yourself."

In February, Dr. Mishy Lesser visited the BB&N Middle School to teach us about genocide and othering, and shine a spotlight on the Wabanaki in Maine and their suffering from the government’s removal of their children, sometimes by force. Curious to learn more about Mishy’s experience as an educator and the impact of Upstander Project on her life, I interviewed this thoughtful, caring and knowing woman who has brought a remarkable amount of awareness and pursuit for change into society.

Ava : What is the Upstander Project about? What do you do?

Mishy: We are a small team--an educator and a couple of filmmakers--that creates compelling documentary films and materials for teachers about ignored social issues. We focus on genocide and human rights to help more people transform from bystanders into upstanders.

Ava: Describe First Light.

Mishy: After creating Coexist, about post-genocide Rwanda, we wanted to make a film closer to home. We heard an NPR broadcast about forced removal of Native American children in Maine and the truth and reconciliation commission created there to uncover how it happened. Upstander Project was fortunate to document the work of the TRC for over 2 years. On Indigenous Peoples’ Day (October 12) we released a short film, First Light, to introduce viewers to the themes of forced assimilation and cultural genocide. Next year we will release a longer film, Dawnland, about these issues.

Ava: How has the Upstander Project affected your life?

Mishy: It allows me to align my work to my values, and interact with students and their teachers, which fills me with inspiration and opportunities for lifelong learning. I am grateful to collaborate with documentary filmmaker, Adam Mazo. Most importantly, we both care deeply about our mission. Upstander Project reminds me to stand up and speak out to interrupt bigoted, harmful speech and behavior.

Ava: What inspired you to start this project? Was there any personal experience?

Mishy: I was a social studies nerd starting in the 6th grade. When in high school, girls weren’t allowed to wear pants, we organized a pants strike and became active in the student movement to end the war in Vietnam. After high school I yearned to understand my place in the world and went to a Quaker college that allowed me to travel and pursue my interests. That took me to Latin America for 12 years. More recently, I have been disturbed by how poorly we as a society deal with our differences. In this political climate when some see it as acceptable to foster fear, anger, and othering, I am proud to be part of the Upstander Project.

Ava: How has your family influenced your thoughts on ethnic equality?

Mishy: Being Jewish has certainly shaped my perspective on how family history shapes who we are. After the horrors of World War II, my parents tried to protect me from the truth. But I wanted to know and thus began my passion for learning about human rights and genocide.

Ava: Through your studies, how has othering affected kids in their educational careers? Any impacts emotionally/socially? Any statistics?

Mishy: The question to ask is: How does othering show up in your community? While teaching in southern California near the Mexican border, a teacher shared that she overheard a staff member say, “Our Mexican students are the sons and daughters of seasonal workers and will never go to college.” So in that particular school, Mexican students were at risk and some struggled because of how they were labelled. Members of the LGBTQ community also said they felt targeted.

Ava: Specifically, what ethnic group/race do you feel is “dominant” and others are being stereotyped?

Mishy: Clearly white men still have most of the power and wealth in the U.S., though there are many who feel disenfranchised and are making their voices heard in this electoral season. In relation to who gets stereotyped, right now Muslims are most vulnerable to stereotyping and othering. Since colonial times, indigenous people have been marginalized and remain invisible to most of the mainstream population or at best, are seen as “relics of the past.”

Ava: If you could give one tip to middle schoolers on creating a safer, more diverse and welcoming community, what would it be?

Mishy: Go out and listen to people who aren’t like you. For centuries social distance has divided us. Cultivate genuine interest in their stories and reality. When we finally begin to interact, we will not only understand someone else better, but we will understand ourselves better. And learn about history and how forces from the past continue to influence us today. Study who Christopher Columbus was, what he did, how he never set foot in the U.S., and ask if you want to celebrate that holiday. Get impassioned, get involved.

Ava: In the future, what do you hope the Upstander Project will accomplish?

Mishy: I hope the Upstander Project can raise awareness about the perils of othering and importance of upstanders, and be a catalyst to make the world more inclusive. We can thrive together instead of rip each other apart.

For further information about Upstander Project and other upcoming films, visit this link:

http://upstanderproject.org/

5 Ways to Build A Better Character

Teenage years are known as the “coming of age” for English teachers, the “if it’s not on Instagram, it never happened” years for teenager’s themselves, or the “honey, get out of bed!” years for parents. Regardless of what name you have chosen to label the years you are 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, or 19, I can make a general statement and say that it is a time of confusion. For many teenagers, confusion can be defined as not knowing oneself, or not having the will to be oneself. Sadly, this is where personalities are lost. This is where many teenagers, and even children, begin to live their idol’s life.

Character, character, character. I believe that character (yes, I said that word again :)) is one of the most important concepts to grasp. You may be the greatest athlete in school, or the best test taker in the grade, however, none of these talents come close to the importance of being able to interact and effectively communicate with others.

Try one, two, or all five of these little tips. I hope you will find them somewhat useful. Close your eyes and thank yourself for attempting to build a better you.

Write a diary. Yeah, sounds pretty pathetic and more like something the typical bubble-gum girl would do, right? No. I disagree. I have been keeping a diary since I was in first grade, so I have

some experience (considering the stuff I write in there.) If you are one of those kids who are manipulated by your friend because they have more followers on Instagram than you, and are unable to speak up for your own rights, then this is the perfect opportunity to help build your own self confidence and recognize your true personality, apart from how you conduct yourself around your friend. If in reality you are afraid to speak your mind because you want that friend with lots of Instagram followers to like you, then keep a diary! Trust me, no one is going to argue with you! By keeping a diary, you will narrating your truth onto paper. This way, you will remember your genuine character in a sea of confusion.

Look at old photographs. Flipping through photos of when I was seven or eight, very innocent and unaware of the world, I saw snapshots of my old friends. I saw snapshots of the places I had visited.

I was even able to critique my smile through these photographs. Here is what I am trying to say: photographs recall memories of how you conducted yourself in the past. This can be compared to how you conduct yourself currently. Many of us will see a difference. Whether that difference sparks a reaction is up to you.

Meditate. When you meditate, you remain in a state of mindfulness and peace. Unless you secretly talk to your friend on the phone when you meditate, it is a time, whether it is two minutes or half an hour, of reflection. Many teachers at school will offer meditation breaks during long blocks. During these minutes of silence, you will learn to relax, and cultivate positive energy. This positive energy can be channeled in any direction, and when it is funneled correctly, to the right aspects in life, it will assuredly bring joy, peace, and develop stronger character.

Learn to cultivate your own happiness. I remember when I was younger, I relied on someone else to make a joke. Happiness became contingent. I remember when I was younger and in math class,

one boy was the only person who had solved a difficult problem. My teacher walked up to him and said, “So, how did you solve this math problem? What steps did you take?” That boy answered, “uhhh…uhhh… (unable to answer) I used my brain?” I remember the whole class cracking up at this joke. I remember it making my day. I remember relying on him for happiness. Through years of learning and trying, I think middle school has changed my perspective. Now, I know that being self supporting is more effective in the long run. I will not only be able to bring bliss to myself, but I will be able to spread it to those who are still discovering how.

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. That was me from Pre-k to the beginning of middle school. I HATED making mistakes, and for those psychologists out there, here’s what I was thinking: 100% on

tests means success in future, if you have a mistake, 100% goes down the toilet. Now I understand how pressuring this “theory” becomes as you grow older. I mean, let’s take a breather, how many people are successful for solely being good at test taking? Mistakes and grades simply show a margin of where you are, and what you still need to learn. Mistakes help us grow, they help us improve. By learning that it is okay to make mistakes, I have taken another giant step in my development towards a better character.

Life's Little Instructions to Middle School Survival

William Snell once wrote Life’s Little Instructions, beautifully decorated onto a poster, in the finest prints, in the lushest colors. I saw the poster for first time in my dentist’s office when I was eight years old. I still think about it.

Reader, you’re reading my version of this piece. I haven’t lived long enough to make a full and official list titled Life’s Little Instructions, so today I will only be writing Life’s Little Instructions to Middle School Survival. Whether you’re an average student, an A+ student or you’re failing your classes, these little pieces of advice may just help you slip through middle school.

Be yourself. I experience assimilation in my school. Too much assimilation in terms of how people conduct themselves, or how they dress themselves. It’s almost like a treasure hunt: the first day of school is the day you see the map. You begin the school year with the end in mind, who you want to be like, who you want to like you, what social groups you want to be in, so others below you will act submissive. The first day of school, I observed, was the one day where all the new students were themselves. I was able to see their personalities in front of the mask that they extracted later in the year. But I have learned that if you just be yourself, you will still develop friendships. I have observed that these friendships tend to be more meaningful, as you are surrounding yourself with people who authentically have similar interests.

Do not procrastinate. Although it does mean you will have something to do tomorrow, I find procrastination leads to sleep deprivation and an leaves unsatisfactory feeling. I think the best way to avoid procrastination is to prioritize. Instead of thinking about what I want to do at that particular moment, I think about how much less rushed and how much more freedom I will have after finishing my priorities.

Thank your teachers. Before stepping out of the classroom, I will always say something along the lines of ‘thank you, have a wonderful day.’ Teachers are paid for students to be vacuous of their material, and they are still paid when students succeed. When I thank my teacher, they [I hope] understand that I appreciate the time and effort they put into making sure that I understand their material. Besides showing that you have adequate manners, thanking teachers after each class also shows that you care about the class, and therefore, it may become easier to ask that teacher for help later on. Thanking teachers is the first step to building a sturdy relationship, which will benefit throughout one’s whole educational career.

Accept treats when it’s someone’s birthday snack. When there are birthdays, kids bring in treats for the whole class. This is such a minor detail, but accepting the treat is encouraging the confidence and celebration of this important, coming of age event for somebody else. (Of course don’t have the treat if you have an allergy :))

Get your energy out. No matter what school you attend, the school day should not be comprised of learning for six hours straight. When there are little breaks in the middle of classes, or lunch time, make sure you release your energy. Whether that energy comes in a form of speech or physical activity, when I make sure that I get my energy out, it helps me stay focused in the latter classes. Also, it keeps me more mindful and peaceful. It helps me relieve stress and prioritize, so that the lesson is on the top of my mind.

Come to school with a full stomach. Skipping breakfast might be the worst idea. For me, I eat the most during breakfast and least during dinner. As a result, breakfast has turned into my fuel. Coming to school on an empty

stomach might make you more tired and less focused during the first few classes.

Come into class expecting to learn something. The worst is when I’ve been in class with “know–it–alls.” The obvious reason I put quotations around the words know–it–all, is because no one is the universe apprehends everything. There is always more room to grow. Also, the less obvious reason I have inserted the quotation marks is because the kids who are the “know–it–alls” tend to be the students with too much ego, and too little reliable knowledge. By coming to class, expecting to learn something, I find myself more keen and alert towards the details of a lesson. The lesson also becomes more intriguing.

SO LONG, READERS!

How to be a better person

There are many ways to be a better person. There are many great people in world who have investigated ways to become a “great” person, instead of a “good” person. Last week, I experienced this first hand. I heard the details matter that distinguished a great person from a good person. Let me tell you in simple words; details matter.

2:20. This marks the depart time of the buses, that make their way through the city to the upper school campus for athletics. Last week, I was sitting in the front seat of the bus on the way to fencing practice. Kids were clamboring into the bus, tossing their coats, and backpacks onto the already crowded seats. Jackets were tussled and heavy backpacks slammed people in the face as they floated by. Boots shuffled down the narrow aisle, leaving wet dusty tracks behind. The bus before us, carrying the boys hockey team, sprang to life and rolled down the driveway. Our bus couldn’t leave, as a small line was still waiting to be diminished at the entrance of the automobile. I sat in the first seat with Alexandra, patiently waiting for the bus to depart.

“So, how was your day?” She asked me.

“There’s a lot of homework and some tests tomorrow, but I think it’s coming along well.” I replied. “How about you?”

“Fine. I just got my science quiz, and I did better than I thought.”

“Congrats.” There was a moment of silence as Alexandra greeted the students who passed in the aisle, and I stared out of the window. The bus driver suddenly stood up. He placed two of his fingers into his mouth and sound waves, occurring in the form of a whistle, easily traveled to the end of the bus. The chatting students quieted down.

“We’re about to leave. Everybody sit down.” His bland voice boomed down the aisle.

“Where’s my brother?” Alexandra asked me quickly after the bus driver sat down in his seat.

“ Where is he? I haven’t seen him either.” I said. The bus driver looked over his shoulder.

“Are we missing someone?”

“Yes, my brother.” Alexandra replied urgently, “He’s probably getting his violin. I’m sorry…he’s always step behind–”

“It’s okay. I’ll give him a minute.” The bus driver said, “but the other sports buses behind us as waiting to pull out of the driveway. I don’t want to make everyone late for sports.”

“Yes, I understand. I’m sure he’ll make it.” Alexandra promised. She pulled out her watch and stared at it, hoping her brother would show up, every time the clock ticked. Seeing that the bus wasn’t planning on moving for another minute, the naughty kids at the back of the bus began to waver, some standing up again to talk to their friends sitting on the seat ahead.

“Oh, where is Harry? I can’t believe he’s still getting his violin? Where is he?” Alexandra looks desperately outside through the bus window. I sensed the bus driver is beginning to feel antsy. The bus carrying the girls basketball team behind us pulled up tighter and tighter. Our fencing bus waited for another second before beginning to creep slowly, a few miles per hour. That’s when Harry burst through the door and sprinted for the fencing bus, carrying two violins, his fencing equipment and a full backpack on his back.

“HARRY! HARRY! HURRY UP!” Alexandra shouts through the open bus door. Harry rapidly steps onto the bus with a thump, as his load pulled him downwards. His first notion is to apologize to the bus driver.

“I’m sorry, sir. I was trying to retrieve these violins. Thank you for waiting for me.”

“No problem, son.” Harry hurries off towards the back of the bus to find a seat for himself, his violins and oversize backpack. Then, the bus driver then turns around to face Alexandra and I, who are relievingly sitting in the front seat and says,

“I’m glad I waited for him. Your brother is the most polite student on this bus. He always says ‘Have a nice day’ when he leaves.”

Little details make all the difference. We should all take an extra second to say each day to say, ‘Thank you, have a nice day’ instead of just the ordinary ‘Thank you.’ Little adjustments and supplements to our daily speech are noticeable. Try to speak from the heart, not on a whim. Simply spending those extra seconds to thank someone will show them how you truly appreciate their service.

The Job of a Boy. The Job of A Man. The View From a Girl.

In English, we read two articles. One was called “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid and other was called “Boy” by Bret Johnston. These articles were completely stereotypes for each gender,  and expectancies for each gender, almost as if we are all living under separate stars.

The Job of a Boy. The Job of A Man. The View From a Girl, tells of the mental and physical progression of boys to men. Told from the perspective of a women, my version of “Boy” and “Girl” infers oppression felt by girls, however, told in the perspective of boys. Sometimes we do not see that there are kind men on this Earth. We do not see this because they are forced to act oppressive towards their counterparts. Or else they will be deemed “boys.” Notice the progression between the age groups. Notice the mentality change. Notice the daunting attitude.

Act abstract and dumb, act as if you will never impact society; think you are a person who just takes up another spot on Earth. Be obsessed with stupid rappers, and listen to them through your flagrant BEATS headphones. Ted Cruz is the peel of your banana, but the edible part of your fruit is truly vacillate. Ostentatiously, with your back hunched, and sweats clinging loosely to your skinny thighs, walk through every atrium in your brand new football cleats. Who cares if you actually play football? You’re just doing it to act as the magnets and attract us girls. When you text, reply with words along the lines of “yes,” “no” or “maybe.” Act as if the girls have to insert the tedious paragraphs. Apparently, someone nominated your job in life to act clueless, leaving us all the hard work.

www.groupon.com

You’re still that clueless. Sure, you’ve learned what Ted Cruz truly stands for, and you’ve learned that your job is to produce change. You’ve come a long way, but you still have no idea how we feel. We’re the shoppers, and the cookers. When we’re at school on Tuesdays, we are known as the Pizza Moms. When you obtain a good job, and that cheerleader wife, make sure you buy her a Mom Car for Valentine’s Day. Save yourself some money, and go buy a Porsche. Act protective of your wife. You think she sucks at driving. Make sure she does too. You’re job is to critique and suppress; but what if I can’t critique and suppress women; then you might as well walk into the office with your football cleats from seventh grade.