Wellness Collaborative 2016

This past Thursday was the annual Wellness Collaborative Night at the Middle School. Each year, starting in seventh grade, one class is given up for a week, so that Will Slotnick, a wellness expert can visit BB&N and educate us on drugs, substance abuse, mindfulness and stress management. This past Thursday, I attended the Wellness Collaborative Night, which is a two hour long event where parents and students from different families are mixed into different discussion groups to talk about their perspectives of drugs, alcohol, mindfulness, and the progression of society on these issues.

I think one of the beauties of this event is that you’re separated from your parents. Kids are put into different groups than their parents so that the sharing of beliefs is not altered by influence or pressure from a close adult. In my group, which was composed of four more adults than eighth graders, one topic of discussion that has stuck with me in particular, was the word disappointment.  

The discussion facilitators posed a question to the group. I can’t remember the exact wording, yet I remember it was along these lines:

If you somehow got into drugs and alcohol, who would be the first person you would talk to for support?

Surprisingly, I’m going to admit, I didn’t say my parents, though many of my group mates said otherwise. And here’s why, in the past, I’ve felt that it is difficult to admit wrongs in front of people who are very close to me. Perhaps it is because I know they are constantly around me, but perhaps it is also because I know they can control me and it wouldn’t be considered “unethical” for my parents to yell at me. So this is why I responded to the question by saying I would talk to my best friend’s mother, who is likewise very educated and very supportive.

Yet one word I used when I voiced this opinion to the discussion group was disappointed. I wouldn’t want my parents to be disappointed in my actions. I’m disappointed in you hurts more than I’m angry at you.

Then, the conversation began to turn a path and one of the parents asked what they could do to encourage their children to ask questions. I replied, ‘by being careful with words.’ From Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, I quoted his first principle, ‘Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.’

This is important, but this is really not the point. What has remained with me from this deep conversation at the Wellness Collaborative Night is the subtle depth, power and terseness, of the overused word disappointment.

Birthday

This past week, I turned 14.

When I was younger, I used to see my birthday as a momentous marker in my life. I remember thinking, wow, now I’m eight! I received more presents as a kid [I asked for books most years]. Don’t get me wrong, birthdays remain important to me, because they are a reminder of time, age, responsibility and how much closer the future I envision is. Yet this year, something inside me was different. I didn’t make 2 tin boxes of rice krispie treats for my homeroom as I did last year and I didn’t purchase 60 chocolate chip cookies as I did in sixth grade. This year, I intentionally wanted my birthday to be more subtle. My friends remembered this day and they sang to me as I walked in the door to school at 8:00. I’m grateful for the reminder that there are people out there who care for me. Thank you. I’m also grateful for their reminder of the significance of the date…since I almost forgot myself!

There’s also a part of me that still wonders, I’m just a day older than I was yesterday, yet today, people [including myself] begin to put more pressure on me. Really, I’m just a day older than I was yesterday, and somehow, this short, 24 hour period brings about a whole new chapter of responsibilities.

Subtle birthday celebrations, almost too subtle I nearly forgot myself. A 24 hour difference. I’m confused, but as always, amazed by the beauty of time. I suppose this is more recognition of my Revolution.

A Black Friday

It had rained the previous night and even in the morning, the roads remained damp. My family was coming home from Black Friday shopping in Natick yesterday. Our car was driving up a slight ramp, and there was a slight turn to the left. I was sleeping in the back of the car, but I awoke when I heard a sudden shrieking in the back wheels of our car as my dad stepped on the breaks. Although the breaks were being stepped on, the car continued to move uncontrollably. When my eyes opened, I saw the head of our car swiveling from the farthest left lane to the farthest right lane and in a matter of seconds, we were back in the left lane, but our car had turned 180 degrees. Everything happened so quickly, but sitting in the back row of our car, I felt like the trunk on my side of the car would slam against the railing of the ramp, but for some miraculous reason, it stopped right before contact.

This was a miracle, no crash, no cars around us [if there were any cars around us, I’m sure there would have been a multi-car accident since we swiveled from left lane, to right and back to the left again], and the fact that our car was driving on a ramp instead of on the highway, is something I’m really grateful for. I guess I’m kind of in shock right now. I don’t know how the car stopped right before contact with the ramp and I continue to wonder whether there is someone, somewhere who had saved us and was somehow controlling our fate. On Thursday, I published a poem noting the things I’m grateful for. I must add something, and that is life.

A Thank You

Last, year I wrote a letter to each of my parents for Thanksgiving, telling the impact each of them has played in my 13, nearly 14 years of life. This year, I’m trying something a little different. I’ve written a poem instead [which I haven’t done in a long time], about what I appreciate this year. Here I go.

“Thank you to…”

It is during this day of the year,

that the streets are nearly devoid of noise.

It’s the silent sound of the outdoors that astounds me.

I don’t know what everyone does at home, but I do know this:

It is a day when I genuinely reflect and be

grateful for all the privilege I am given,

grateful for all the people in my inner circle,

grateful for all the support I am given and sometimes take for granted.

Thank you to the postman,

who not only delivers mail to my box everyday,

but closes the lid when it rains.

Thank you my doctor,

who subscribed me FloVent,

and mitigated my symptoms of asthma early past spring.

Thank you to authors of self improvement books,

who try to bring out the best in readers,

who are selfless in sharing their own experiences. *

Thank you to my advisor, who is also my science teacher,

for supporting me through applications,

and for always being on top of answering her student’s questions.**

Thank you to all my friends,

who spread positive energy, thoughtful ideas

and bring friendly competition.  

Thank you to my teachers,

whose ultimate goals are to bring new perspective into their student’s lives,

and strive to challenge their students.

And the biggest thanks of all to my parents,

who work tirelessly to support me through school,

and inspire me daily to establish my morals.

Thank you.

~Ava Long

Happy Thanksgiving!

__________________________

*Self improvement/business books link.

**I sent an email asking a question at nearly 9 PM, not expecting a reply until the next morning, but sure enough, there was a reply 8 minutes later.

To Lead

Currently, I am reading a business book called The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell. I’m about halfway through, and I suppose one important, recurring theme throughout the chapters I’ve read, is the power of starting with yourself. Maxwell includes this proverb in a chapter titled The Law of Connection. I feel I must share it:

To lead yourself, use your head; to lead others, use your heart.

So Similar, Yet So Different

In the afternoon today, I took a nice walk to town center to buy some things for the house, when on the sidewalks, I passed by an old friend who I had gone to school with for six years, during my elementary years [Prekindergarten-4th]. In fifth grade, I transitioned schools, yet this friend of mine stayed at my old school. I hadn’t seen him for about 4 years, and this afternoon, he seemed so different, yet so similar. A little taller, still very skinny, still short hair. But there’s a quiet confidence in his character that I felt he once had trouble expressing. There’s a desire to engage in the conversation that he once avoided. Then I began to think about how he saw me…compared to how he saw me four years ago. And I have to say, each year I seem to grow in all directions and I’m different.

It’s been a little over a year since I published my first blog post on Revelation of the Revolution, and I’m observing how each post becomes more and more personal. I notice myself seeing the world differently after I finish reading each business/self development book and I notice myself seeing the world differently after some small inspiration in my life. I have a bigger audience on this blog than I had a year ago, and the goal of writing these posts is evolving. I think that’s part of the Revolution. The Revolution of my mentality.

I hope my mom sees the change in me as well when she does my laundry. My pants get longer over the years, and my shirts magically grow each year as she folds them into neat piles in my dresser. She longer needs to pack my lunch in the morning and when she looks in my bathroom drawer, there’s always acne cream. This is also a Revolution, my physical Revolution.

My style Revolution is one that is hard to pinpoint. I bet the friend who I saw this afternoon, still noticed my ponytail-over-hair-down preference, my sneaker-over-boots preference, my silver-over-gold preference. Yet, I know my style has evolved. I no longer wear cute little sweaters. I no longer put colorful clips in my hair. This is also a Revolution which I am proud to display.

Revelation of the Revolution. I guess this is how far I’ve come. How much I’ve grown. I perceive how different I am…more mature, ideas more developed, feelings more mindful, manners more refined. Yet I still haven’t left certain parts of me behind…my ponytail, my sneakers, my love for bracelets. I’m so similar, yet so different.

 

What Makes Me Happy

In February, I wrote about things that make me happy. Now, I feel I must follow up on that note, as in this little-over-a-half-year’s time, I have encountered more things that bring me joy. Over these past few months, I’ve traveled, I’ve explored, I’ve attempted, I’ve accepted and as a result, I’ve discovered other things that make me smile, which I will gratefully add on to my original list.

My owl figure. My parents bought me this owl in the Canadian Rockies this past summer. Really, I don’t know why they sell so many of these figures in Alberta, considering the artist who crafts these figures is actually based in Montevideo, the capital of Uruguay. It is the intricate details, the warmth of the colors and the curiosity of the owl’s eyes that draw me into these figure.

My little owl

Thoughtfulls Pop-Open Cards. When I need inspiration, when I covet hope, when I desire advice, when I need to be reminded to have a positive outlook in life, I open a Thoughtfulls Cheer Pop-Open Card. Sure it’s small, but it’s colorful, it’s bright, and behind each closed cover, there lies a little light; a quote. Yet before I pop open the little door to the card, I stop and think about why I’m opening it. This I consider my mindful moment. I ask myself, What are you feeling? What is bothering or cheering you up today? Are you being aware of your emotions? Then, I scribble a little note on the back of the card which includes the date, my emotions and what’s currently going on in my life. I go forth, open the card and finally, read the quote.

CHEERS Box

Mindful Moment here

One of my favorites that I've opened.

Face changing statue. My mother visited China in September, and my aunt told my mother to give this statue to me. I find it quite interesting. In some Chinese performances, the singers/dancers would wave a fan in front of their faces and change their masks. This particular model has four different masks, and I like to think of them as various moods. One of them represents stress, another anger, the green one happiness and the fourth serenity and peace. Everyday, I will walk over to the bookshelf where this little guy sits, and I will press the little knob at the top of its head to express an oversimplified version of my emotions that day.

My stress "face"

My happy "face"

Changing faces

A neat room. For me, neatness is not new. It has been a part of me since I was young. I remember when I was six years old, I would go around the house, organizing all of the papers, books and mail on the tables and scrub the kitchen counter and bathroom sink faucets until they barely show a single stain. I find happiness in neat and clean rooms because I like the feeling of everything having a “home.” And when everything has–and is in–its home, I hope that few disarrayed items become a hinderance to the flow of my life.

Departing Question: What makes you happy?

Before the Sunrise

Before the sunrise and my alarm clock, I am out of bed. It’s early, in the dawn of morning, and the heat in the house has merely turned on. It is dark as I slip out of bed,

Sunrise at Lake Louise

searching the ground for my slippers. Then I walk down the stairs to the first floor of the house as quietly as possible, attempting to avoid the creaks that sing in the floorboards. I start enjoying my breakfast, and read while I’m at it.

People often ask me why I wake up at 6 o’clock every morning [weekends included]. And I often think about how my day would be different if I slept in because I do put an honest effort into getting more sleep. However, I find that as soon as my consciousness kicks in at 6 in the morning, I can no longer return to my pillow.

So I’m downstairs on the first floor of my house, studying, reading Science of Us articles, eating and relaxing. I suppose it’s not a bad thing that I wake up early, before my alarm clock. I find that being alone and giving myself that extra hour to pull myself together in the morning helps me remain calmer throughout my day. It’s almost like I’m given more time in a day…I’m not rushing to finish breakfast or putting stress on myself to brush my teeth faster. And the thing is, I don’t feel tired throughout the day. I feel almost more energized, like my body has been given the time it needs to “warm up.”. Before the sunrise, I am awake and running, reading and studying, prepping myself for the day ahead.

AISNE's 2016 Diversity Conference

It is a “Call To Action.” I like how they put that.

Program from the Diversity Conference

Each year, the American Independent Schools of New England [AISNE] has a Diversity Conference for independent middle schools throughout New England [high schoolers have their own version, which is national]. Yesterday, I was fortunate enough to attend the 2016 conference which was hosted at Thayer Academy with a small group of kids from school and my history teacher.

The conference began at 9:00, so we were required to leave campus at 8:30. We arrived at Thayer on time. The day started off in the auditorium, where a group of Hip-Hop performers talked about how certain raps showed diversity and assimilation of certain groups. These performers danced, sang, and explained where they grew up and how diversity played a role in their childhood. As the audience, we were even requested to stand up what space we had in the auditorium and dance along with them.

The following hour, the 300 kids who attended the conference split up into separate workshops throughout Thayer’s campus. Prior to Saturday, my history teacher sent me a workshop sign up sheet. I was part of the Privilege workshop, which was one of my top choices.

***

Privilege. Walking into that workshop, I perceived it to be serious, solemn and wary. I will say that I my idea was quite disillusioned. My favorite activity that took place in the Privilege workshop was discussing three questions, which the instructors of the workshop projected on the whiteboard. I can’t remember the exact wording of the three questions, however I have included the main ideas of them below.

1. What does privilege give to those who have it? How are they given an advantage?
2. What circumstances does having privilege give an advantage?
3. How can we use the privilege we are given?

This was just a rough remembering of the questions, yet I found the first one piqued my interest the most. We were sitting on the floor in a collaborative circle and for question 1, many kids mentioned having food on a plate or knowing when your next meal came from. This discussion truly brought awareness to the privilege I am given; attending an independent school, knowing where my next meal is coming from, having a roof over my head every night. These are just 3 of the many privileges I sometimes take for granted. I think this awareness is really important to possess.

I noticed that during the beginning part of the discussion, I was surprisingly quiet since these are topics that I feel passionate about addressing. Yet later, I found my voice in the conversation, and I talked about privilege giving us opportunity. I believe that if someone has privilege, it may give them more opportunity in life, because they have the resources [proper nutrition, housing, education etc] to support these desires. It’s kind of like they have many open paths in life, with few boulders in blocking the entrances. I couldn’t even believe these words were coming out of my mouth since I’d never considered the topic in quite as much depth as I had yesterday. But it began to hit me as my ideas flowed through my mind. The idea of opportunity began to be more clearly expressed as I continued talking expanding this idea. And as I voiced all my opinions, I noticed myself beginning to see the word privileged differently.

Following this meaningful discussion, the group did an exercise. We all stood in one straight line across the width of the classroom. Around 20 statements were read one at a time, and if the statement applied to you, you would take a small step forwards. I will list some statements that were mentioned. I will admit, I ended up towards the back of the room, but in some ways, that was impetus for me to work harder.

• Step forwards if you know where your next meal is coming from.
• Step backwards if you take public transportation.
• Step forwards if you own 50 of more books in your house.
• Step backwards if you feel unsafe walking alone on the streets at night.
• Step backwards if your ethnicity has ever been ridiculed.
• Step forwards if you have connections that helped you in achieve, get accepted into, or succeeded in some form.

***

Yesterday brought a different light to my perception of privilege. I would have never considered feeling safe walking on the streets a privilege, or owning more than 50 books in your house. I feel fortunate that I’m living the life I’m living. I’m privileged. I just need to remember it more.

Halloween, Autumn and My Observations

Halloween was this past Monday and it already feels like it’s been awhile since as I drown in my homework. I’ve never been the biggest fan of trick-or-treating and for me, it feels like I should be giving out the candy. Mostly, I find myself tagging along with my friends so I can give myself another opportunity to engage in social activities with my peers outside of school.

Halloween is an interesting holiday for me because it marks the commencement of autumn. It symbolizes red leaves, falling leaves, and letting go. When I go trick-or-treating each year, my favorite thing to observe are the pumpkins. Not just the size, shape and color of each pumpkin, but its decoration and its carvings. Some pumpkins are decorated with sparkles, googly eyes and feathers, blinking with the luminous lights of candles. Others have spider and witch carvings. Some are traditional. Others eccentric. But all beautiful in their own ways.  

In a way, each pumpkin is like another opportunity. Each one is slightly different than the last. It is like opportunities are knocking on my door on Halloween night. What a sight.

In addition, I want to mention my observation of time after Halloween; the year always ends rapidly. Thanksgiving goes by and before you know it Christmas, followed directly by the New Year. Autumn and then winter. I notice what it brings. I will try to welcome it and cherish it. This is life. Just going by.

Photo I took on my walk home from school. The red of the trees is what makes me so in love with autumn.