Ageism truly exists

Ageism truly exists. I’ve heard referrals to the term most often in workplaces, occurring in scenarios where a manager is younger an employer for instance. I’ve refused to believe that people formed judgments based on someone’s age up, but this term has taught me quite differently. 

For the first time since I’ve been at Andover, my age leans towards the older side. We call that upperclassmen here. I didn’t believe it until I became one, but people really do treat upperclassmen better. My high school’s social scene is quite similar to that of many others even though we’re a boarding school, so I would like to assume that I’m not jumping to any dramatic conclusions or making small-sample generalizations. I’ve been trying to distinguish whether the number or simply extra years of existence on this Earth engender this nouveau degree of respect. But I’ve noticed that new students who come in as upperclassmen encounter the same level of treatment as returners, indicating that it is indeed age rather than experience that dictates treatment. 

When I say that upperclassmen are treated better, I feel it boils down to more than just respect. It’s genuinely a new feeling which I haven’t experienced before and I’ve noticed that people from all grades treat my friends and I differently, not just the lowerclassmen. The seniors say hi to us without hesitation, a line I’m assuming they wanted to keep clear when they were in our shoes last year when we were lowerclassmen.  People do more than just be nice in your presence. I’ve noticed that younger students hold conversations for longer because they want to talk with older students. They volunteer more readily in club events in my opinion. They are also more accepting of our flaws than older students.  

I think 10th grade was particularly difficult before I was sort of stuck in that time when I was older and more experienced than freshmen but not quite old enough to blend in with the upperclassmen. For me last year, I remember that being a particularly confusing time. I couldn’t fathom why the girl who was one year older stopped talking to me and saying hi. It struck me that age had played a role when she started waving to me again and conversing small talk this year, her a senior and me a junior. I’m also reminded of the time when a club leader didn’t make it to a meeting. His explanation to his younger co-head was: “I’m an upperclassman. I’ve got a sh*t ton of work to do!”. I've been trying to work through why some upperclassmen perpetually use age as an excuse. Perhaps creating distance with age commands for more respect.

I think it’s important for older students to recognize this new power that come with ageism, for better or for worse. I believe a large part of it has to do with how one utilizes age as a platform. Teachers expect more our of behavior and the librarians become angrier when upperclassmen stir up noise. When I think back to my experience as a lowerclassmen, I remember my respect for AR, a girl who was two years older than me in my dorm. AR was a gamechanger in my sophomore year. She didn’t judge my youth or perceived innocence and she made me feel important and valued. She’s the type of upperclassmen I strive to be. I remember asking her for advice about life and she never belittled my desire to learn. She spent time with me, disregarding the fact that I was younger than her. She’s the type who doesn’t see age as a barrier and use it as a rationale for ignorance or belittling. She recognized everyone’s value, never using age as an excuse from responsibilities.  Thank you, AR, for showing me who I could be. As I’ve written about before, with age comes responsibility. With this responsibility and power, there are innumerable things we could do. I've strived to look past these barriers of age and seek to learn something from everyone. In doing so, I want to break down some of the stigmas and intimidations younger students may have towards older students and I hope to garner respect from my peers through not my age but through my actions. It's in these ways that I believe we can tackle ageism.