Saying no

Self care. That was one of the themes in this week’s All School Meeting, as speaker and author Hakeem Rahim talked about his struggles with bipolar disorder during his time as a student at Harvard.  He spoke of how he withdrew from Harvard for a period of time in order to recover and seek treatment, even though that meant giving up cheerleading, his academics, and a large part of his life at the university. However, even though he was disappointed and irritated that he was temporarily withdrawing, Rahim said that was a very important decision in his life, mostly because it meant taking time for himself to get better.

While I do not have bipolar disorder (or to go college for that matter), I think there are certain instances everyday where I do have the opportunity to make a decision that will impact my well being for following days.  It’s in those situations where I need to learn to say no. It’s hard to edge away from being a “yes-man”. At a school like Andover, there are so many things that I want to do in my extracurriculars, academics, and weekends. As I wrote about last week, there seems to be less time everyday and taking six courses is becoming increasingly difficult.  Being the yes-man I was last year is simply not going to cut the line for time management this year.  

I paid especially close attention to my time this weekend.  While I was not studying 24/7, there were many things I withdrew from short term to set myself up for success long term.  For example, on Friday our class had an optional laser tag trip.  About 80 kids in my grade signed up and I had initially as well.  However, on Friday night, after being hit harshly by some recent grades and academic work, I decided to take the night off to reflect, think, and work a little bit.  I opted to hang out by myself instead of go laser tagging, and while I’m not suggesting that I want to be a recluse, taking that night off allowed me to recuperate mentally from an exhausting week.  While I was unable to play one of my favorite childhood game, getting off that laser tag bus was probably one of the best decisions I made this weekend. 

Self-care. I want to recenter this post back to that word.  Self-care is not withdrawing from society and being a hermit.  Self-care, for me, is being able to involve myself with my own body, and knowing when I need time for myself and when I need time with other people.  It’s not overloading my schedule to the point where I leave myself stressed and sleep-deprived. And while I’m still much younger than Hakeem Rahim and not in college yet, I cherish his message of being able to say no and to understand and respond to one’s own feelings deeply as a platform towards better self-care in the long run.