True confidence

As kids we’re always told, believe in yourself! You can do it! In general, I would say I’m a fairly confident person.  At school, when I work on projects and new ideas, I push for what I want to happen and I’m not afraid of a little setback.  I had a tennis tournament today, and while it’s certainly not the first match I’ve played, it occurred to me how easily my confidence can be shattered on the courts.  

We’re playing two set matches and it’s my second match of the day. I win the first set 6-2, but the second set, I get bogged down and the match goes back and forth between my opponent and I.  She has a lead, 0-2.  Then I catch up to 2-2, but she pulls ahead 4-2, and we eventually even out at 5-5.  I barely pull off the second set 7-5. 

When I reflected on my playing with my dad, I thought about how much more easily the first set came then that second set.  Perhaps it was because of natural elements; the increasing heat, the sun getting higher in the sky, my increasing fatigue.  But my dad argues differently.  He noticed how I messed up about three shots consecutively in the second set and right off the bat, my confidence began to deteriorate with each mistake.  But how wouldn’t?  It’s a pretty natural phenomenon, when we think we’ve locked down on the point, when we think we’ve set up the next shot with the utmost perfection in timing and position, only to be utterly defeated when we make an unforced error on the shot that was supposed to win the point, the shot we’d set up so meticulously.  

I’ve noticed how it only gets on my nerves when I’m the one who makes the mistake.  For some reason, when my opponent successfully executes a winner or a dropshot, it doesn’t nag at my confidence as much.  I almost just move and say, eh, it was a good shot! But when it’s me making the mistake, me hitting it long, or me missing the net because my arm stiffened, it drags at my confidence the most.  It’s as if I don’t trust my own abilities to play, which leads to my strokes shortening and I am unable to bring out my best game or play how I usually play.  

It happens.  But the best of players don’t let it get on their nerves and perhaps this is the greatest difference between the good player and the best player.  The good player will start off with the upper hand, leading and dominating the point, but after a few consecutive points in a row of error, their confidence fails and they are often unable to bring themselves back to the skill level they were playing at before.  I realize now that the better player will accept these mistakes and even while they may pull at the scorecards, the better player knows that they cannot let it affect their ability to bring out the best in their game.  I believe this is true confidence.