Lately, my grandfather, and Melbourne

Golly, it’s been a long time since I’ve written.  It’s also been a long time since I’ve used a computer, to the point where typing feels nouveau. These past three weeks I’ve been off my computer have been some of the most eventful days of my life.  A lot has happened and having not had access to my computer to write, I’m expecting for the next couple of weeks, I’ll be reflecting on everything that has happened in my first month of summer vacation. 

A few days after school ended, I hopped on a plane to Santorini, Greece. However, on our 12th night in Athens, at 4 AM, my dad received a call from my aunt in Melbourne.  

For around a year now, my grandfather has been sick with severe Parkinson’s disease.  That night my aunt called, the doctors had discovered he had an infection.  Overcoming this infection would be difficult, and in that time, the doctors estimated he would only be able to live for another 48-72 hours.  My family was left in a quagmire: it would be too late to wait to finish our vacation, go back home to Boston and then catch a 25+ hour flight to Melbourne.  It would also be too late to catch a flight directly to Melbourne after our vacation directly from Greece because of the time difference.  Our final decision was finalized in a matter of a few hours and by 5 AM, my dad found himself (probably alone) in the hotel lobby booking two tickets to Melbourne for that very night at 11:00. 

My dad and I ended up flying to Melbourne while my mom stayed in Athens for the remaining two days of vacation.  It was a terribly difficult time especially for my dad.  And that morning when we walked into the hospital, even I found myself crying at the sight of my now 80 pound grandfather.  Perhaps it was because I kept thinking back to this photo of him. 

He looked so different now.  His face was slim, and Parkinson’s had destroyed his ability to think clearly and function by himself.  He relied on others to feed him, bathe him, clothe him, every basic function… Going with my cousin, David, my aunt, grandmother, and my father to the hospital hit me with a lot of shock because I had never in my life seen a man so weak.  I’d only seen this stuff on TV, never in front of my face, giving my feeble grandfather a gentle hug. I had never seen a man on the verge of death, potentially sitting in his deathbed, in a hospital, surrounded by other men also on the verge of death.  We were blessed, because that very morning, the nurses informed us that grandfather had responded well to the shot they had given him in hopes of fighting the infection.  My aunt explained this medicine they had given him: it was so strong it could only be taken once, and chances of fighting the infection vitally depended on how well my grandfather responded to it.  

My dad and I stayed in Melbourne for a total of four days and left early in the morning on our fifth day.  It was a constant balance for my dad and I, having to remember to be strong and sensitive around my grandmother, who is bipolar and further struggling to contain her emotions because of the medical state of grandfather.  This trip to Melbourne was supposed to happen in July, well after our trip to Greece.  I remember my aunt telling my dad that while grandfather was delusional and confused (he thought he was still living in China), he wasn’t going to die anytime soon in early June.  I’d believed her until the phone call at 4 AM.  When we left Melbourne, my grandfather still had a little bit of infection, and now, I’m not so sure.  I’m extremely fortunate that I was able to see my grandfather.  Leaving Melbourne and shaking hands with my grandfather on our final day was difficult and the night before our early plane flight, I felt this odd feeling in my stomach.  It was a ball of confusion: I felt joy in spending time with my cousins, uncle, aunt, and grandmother, I felt sentimental about leaving Melbourne, I felt distress having to leave my grandfather, and the thought of home felt odd after spending weeks outside of the US.  

Here was a man who’d given life to my aunt and dad, dedicated his entire life, well beyond retirement to research for the technology and engineering field, come to the US to spend the summer with me about eight years ago, and who I’d inherited my eyebrows from.  Leaving Melbourne, knowing I may never see grandfather, who was still breathing today, ever again was difficult as hell.