It shocks me to think

It shocks me to think that I’ve (almost) completed another year of school.  I remember sitting in my eighth grade history class last year, writing a letter to my future self around the same time of year.  I remember it so vividly…all the people I was sitting with, the classroom I was in, the sounds in the room, the smell of the room.  Everything was so clear in my head.  And now, opening my eyes, I’ve realized that yes, another year has gone by since that memory and everything I remember from was so long ago.  

It shocks me to think back to that first day I walked into my dorm.  I was trying to find my room, yes! 204.  Then going back to the car, and then getting lost because there were confusingly two staircases in my dorm.  I think back to all the confusion I felt…to my first dorm meeting where I met my house counselors and my prefects.  The tension that boiled in the room, the nervous twiddling of the thumbs. I remember that so clearly, but for some reason, it feels like a more distant memory.  Perhaps this is because none of the nervous, jittery feelings I felt with those people, I would feel today.  

It shocks me to think that I’m sitting here, at my computer right now, two hours before the final dance of the school year! I remember talking about all the dances in the fall term with my friend, thinking about what I’d wear, and only imagining what they’d be like.  Thinking what the vibes would be like, what photos we’d take, who I’d dance with.  I remember feeling nervous about these all school dances! There were kids who were up to five years older than me and I thought I’d feel inexplicably young.  And now, with the snap of my fingers, all these dances I’d been looking forward to at the beginning of fall term are almost over.    

It shocks me to think that I may never live with the people in my dorm again.  That we’ll never be one entirety again, living together.  A couple months ago, I couldn’t imagine who else I’d be living with…it felt like my dorm and I, we were forever.  But now, as I’m facing my lower year, I’m facing the realities of, wow, I will probably never be living with all of these people again and I’ll be meeting so many new people.  It’s almost as if each year at Andover is a new year, since there are new classes, new people, new dorms compositions etc.  

It shocks me to think that another season of tennis has already finished.  I remember my season last year with BB&N, and going out for team dinners and the long evening practices until 7.  Last year’s season felt much longer, starting out driving to Winchester to get to the club.  This year, tennis season passed with the snap of my fingers.  Those 90 minute tennis practices that turned into 90 minute laugh sessions with my friends.  The intense matches, where we barely pulled leads.  All those various warm-ups with did, and coping with the varying weather.  Wow, I think now, another season of tennis is over.  

It shocks me to think that I’m almost done with my freshman year of high school and it scares me to realize how much has happened in this one year and how recent all of it felt.