Being kind to myself and finding my inner peace

I was emailing my math teacher Ms. Currier from BB&N this past week, updating her about my transition to Andover.  She told me about her school year thus far and we connected about both our experiences in new places.  

New places are scary for me.  Especially since I left BB&N as an older student in the building (eighth grade), and now, three months later, I have found myself as one of the younger students in the community.  The throwback was so abrupt, I think that was one area I wasn’t prepared for.  In her email, Ms. Currier told me to work hard but she also told me to be kind to myself.  I am an avid supporter of the “work hard, play hard” attitude.  For me, I define that as when it’s time to study and work, study and work with all your focus and set high expectations when it comes to delivering results from the time spent studying or working.  Meanwhile, when it’s time to play, play hard.  Do not think about all the homework you did not finish and if you have finished all your work,  give yourself a break.    

Be kind to myself.  I’m sitting in front of Paresky Commons right now, in front of the sunset, observing the vibe and life that passes through 3 giant sets of glass doors into the school’s top

Sunset. 2/3 door to Paresky Commons

hitter when it comes down to votes for the best place to make friends, relax, and have a fun. I don’t like being a bystander.  I like to engage with my community and make the most of it. But right now, I’m finding harmony being a bystander.  

I’m learning through sitting on this granite ledge by watching others.  I’m noticing how many people actually eat dessert [which is way more than I anticipated), I’m observing when kids of each grade come (older students tend to come later), I’m observing the various styles of clothing people are wearing on a typical Sunday evening.  Heck, I could gather some serious big data sitting here every Sunday afternoon during dinner.  I’m relaxed and calm, a feeling I’m most likely not experiencing when I’m someone walking through one of these 3 doors to Commons.  For me, being kind to myself is finding a place where I can find my inner peace, as cheesy as it sounds, and exercise the feeling of not thinking about much, a rarity here at a busy boarding school.  I’m making time for myself.

So be kind to myself I will try.  I will slowly discover more places where I can relax.  Overtime I will find the places where I can relax and find my zen.  For now, as long as the weather allows, I will sit on the granite steps of Commons, observing the life around me.  For the first time after many hours of school each week, I will be someone not contributing to these stirring emotions.  

Sam Phil at sunset [w/ a little photo editing]