I can do this

When I encounter trouble, challenges, or setbacks, sometimes I say: “‘I can’t do this!” I get really whiny and upset. My head starts to hurt and my fingers start to throb. There’s only one extra letter following the word ‘can,’ yet it changes the whole mood, attitude and motivation of this sentence. And here’s the truth, that one extra letter should be rarely supplemented.

Being proactive. I guess that’s what I do. I view proactivity as the opposite of a reactive attitude, meaning that you don’t react to a cause, you take action and drive that cause to the effect you want it to bring. I notice that when I first approach a setbacks or something I don’t know, I may complain to myself, “I can’t do it.” Then the little fairy named Proactive

strikes her wand and I catch become present in the present. I know I should never curtail my opportunities in life, especially those which offer a learning experience. And this is when Proactive says, “Make a plan, Ava!” So I endeavor to attack the problem. I follow my plan, and for sure, these plans range. Sometimes they’re simple reminders and other times they’re lifestyle rectifications.

Once I follow this plan I make for myself, I tend to feel a little bit less stressed (though I’ll always be stressed!) and it makes me feel like I can accomplish anything when I reach the culmination of my goal. In the end, being proactive is really the basis for everything. If you have the desire and the drive to achieve something, you can do it. In my personal experiences, I find I start by freaking out, then formulate a plan, and execute it.

Here’s a chart of what I consider reactive versus proactive approaches to opposition. Sean Covey was a major inspiration for these.

Reactive	Proactive
I don’t have time.	I have as much time as Albert Einstein did…I’ll make time.
I have to do this.	I chose to do this.
I don’t know how to do this.	I make a plan to figure out how to solve this.

At the end of the day, this is how it all boils down: we can do anything we want, if we give the correct form of effort and integrity. We should all confidently be able to say, “I can do this.”

Anxiety

Anxiety. It’s an interesting, vague feeling. It's not congeal. And it haunts me in my sleep, imminent in every decision made during those hours. In retrospect, anxiety is an interesting, nagging, and honest feeling. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s timid, only lingering around the corners of my mind, yet conspicuous enough to disturb everyday life. It throws me off track and unnoticeably, with Time, leaves.

Anxiety. One could describe it as worry. Sure, I don’t dispute that idea. But yes, I do observe something more. Something deeper about anxiety. Something raging inside. It wants to explode and it incessantly grapples inside my mind. It pushes and it pulls. It tosses and it turns over all the rocks you have strategically placed in life. I suppose anxiety can tip you over.

Anxiety. At the end of the day, everyone needs it. We would struggle to live up to our standards without its influence. By power of example, many of the greatest educators, writers, entrepreneurs, and diplomats live by this reality. It is a lifestyle, chosen by many, neglected by others. For me, I try to make anxiety a standard. It symbolizes care. It demonstrates ardor and it encourages integrity in everything I do.

Anxiety. I dare myself to live by this standard. Be comfortable, yet show interest and compassion on a daily basis. Be engaged. Worry. And until Time passes, anxiety will always bubble inside. But with Time, my anxiety will float away like the clouds. I will know my teachers. I will know my classes. I will know where I will attend college. I will develop a career. I trust Anxiety will keep me on my toes, and tell me that that time is imminent, only around the corner. I just have to wait.

Highways and Restrooms

Yesterday, my family was driving on the highway. To be frank, my parents aren’t–and haven’t ever been–considered “fast” drivers. We’re actually fairly slow, generally sticking to the side lanes. The car has a tendency to be quiet, the occasional hum of some music on KISS 108, or maybe a news report. Most of the time, I look out the window. It’s become an inveterate way I bring equanimity to my mind. It’s quiet. It’s soothing. And I release tension.

Yet somehow, the car ride yesterday didn’t seem so. I saw cars rushing by ours, each one faster than the last. Reds, navy blues, whites, silvers, golds, and greys all rushing past our car in a blur; a rainbow. It felt very rushed and tense, though it reminds me of how

hypocritical we can be. In the Canadian Rockies, on the highways, it was blatant who was native to the land and who was a foreigner from a major city in the States.

This isn’t meant to be a stereotype, however I could evidently spot who thought the speed limit of 60 kmph. (37 mph.) was too slow for the highway. My family, included, were probably one of the faster cars on the highway, considering that in Boston, the highway speed is generally around 60 mph to 70 mph. These differences are what makes the world so amazing. When you travel, I believe you become more aware of these different cultures, and lifestyles. In the States, the rush is definitely more conspicuous, with more frequent honks and beeps.

In addition, I wanted to note the way people refer to the “restrooms.” In many parts of Canada, “bathrooms” are referred to as “washrooms,” and even in the U.S. many call them “restrooms.” My good friend Sophie is native to Canada, and though she refers to restrooms

as “bathrooms,” I notice how her mother refers to them as “washrooms.” I was oblivious to where this saying came from, thinking it was just a more proper term than the typical used in the U.S. Now I know that it may actually be picked up from a different part of the world. I guess this all boils down to culture, tradition, dialect and lifestyle. My goal is to be more perceptive of those beyond the one I am faced with on a daily basis.

Self-awareness

I looked it up: The highest temperature in Massachusetts was 104 degrees in the summer of 1911. In the summer of 2010, we reached 100 degrees. For the past three days, the temperature in Boston has been well over 90 degrees. When I step out onto the streets, I instantaneously start sweating before my brain can even register it. This is a lucid manifestation of global warming issues. Massachusetts is in a heat wave.

Anyhow, that was not the main purpose of this post. Part of it is to remember the devastating weather we’ve experienced for the past three days, yet today, I mainly want to share my weekly inspiration. Due to the sweltering weather yesterday, I was stayed primarily indoors. I began reading a book my dad gave me when I was in fifth grade, along with the

Seven Habits. It’s called The Girls Book of Wisdom by Catherine Dee. A broad-scale synopsis would deduce that it’s a book filled with 45 aspects that lead to success in life. Yet these pages are not written in the traditional chapter style. The points in the book are illustrated through hundreds of quotes by females.

Some of these aspects are I am mentally conscious of, yet do are not stored the brown boxes in my mind. Some aspects I already practice, but become more aware of. Others stick. Spirituality is one I became more cognizant of while self-awareness is something that has stuck. Catherine Dee wrote a marvelous paragraph about self-awareness. She says that we “know who the popular kids are at school, what they’re thinking about and saying, and who and what impresses them” but she questions, “Do you know the same things about you? What are you thinking about and saying, and who and what impresses you?” For me, this is a very powerful statement. At

This cat clearly needs to gain some self-awareness!

school, I’ve never considered myself a “popular” kid and knowing what those who are find bliss in, it makes me skeptical as to whether I know the same things about myself. I think many kids get really caught up in impressing/assimilating with the “popular” kids which leads them to forget who they truly are themselves. It’s when you manage to remember your true spirit, is it a clear-cut example of self-awareness.

When I took a second to deeply consider the benefits, self-gains, and mentality gained through this simple aspect of self-awareness, I realized how broadly possibilities spanned. Self-awareness keeps me on my toes, it reinforces my spiritual tenet about defining myself. It encourages me to simply be myself as well, and eschew falling into the control or influence of others. Sometimes, I feel that self-awareness may actually be the basis to success: it helps us know our capacities and aspire to surpass them.

“It’s where we go, and what we do when we get there, that tells us who we are.” ~Joyce Carol Oates

The Help and what it reminded me of

Each year, BB&N sends a list of summer reading requirements for English and History. Most of the time, you are presented with a list of 5-6 options for the two subjects and have the discretion to choose two from the list. This year, I chose The Help by Kathryn

Stockett as one of my English choices.

To be honest, this book really stunned me. The plot was creatively woven together and the themes were easily sought, yet sometimes I felt that random, delusional, non-plot pushing events occurred. To my disappointment, most of the time, these events didn’t really link together, like one would expect in a mystery. So now I’m questioning whether The Help is indeed a mystery, a drama, or whether it is a historical-fiction adventure. I’d say it’s a mix of all…and that’s its beauty.

Yet what this book really taught me was how to talk to others. Strangers, friends, and family included. I don’t advertently plan on spoiling this book for you if you haven’t read it, but I think this is a neutral (and well-known) fact to reveal. When the white ladies communicate their black maids, they talk knowingly, or listen like the maids are aliens from somewhere else. My innuendos about these fictional characters are consummate example of where stereotypes and racism occur. When people talk to each other in this manner. Mishy Lesser once told me that the greatest thing she could advise upon current middle school students, is to talk to people not like they’re a curiosity. Talk to people like you know you’re going to learn something new.

The Canadian Rockies

Explore the world. It’s simple. That could mean taking a brisk walk around town. That could mean talking to an old friend you haven’t seen in a few years on the street. It could also mean traveling. My parents have always deeply instilled the importance of being cognizant of others around me, encompassing the various existing cultures, languages, and tenets. I consider myself very fortunate of being bestowed with the gift of frequent travel. From July 22-July 31, my family explored the world of the Canadian Rockies.

July 23-24–Lake Louise

Lake Louise [the town], was actually not the first place we visited, in fact, it is almost 2 hours away from Calgary. Calgary was the closest city with an international airport, and arriving, exhausted and depleted of mental energy at at around 4 p.m. on the 23, we stayed in a rural hotel close by the airport. It wasn’t until early the following morning that we drove the 3 ½  hours to our first destination, Lake Louise.

Roadside view of mountains

I remember riding in the car, listening to pop music on Sirius XM, completed dazed by the sublime vista of the grayish mountains, fitted perfectly together with the azure blue of the
unique rivers and lakes. My family was driving on the highway, yet it already felt like moving in a painting. The mountains hosted million year old glaciers, merely visible underneath obfuscated clouds. The ride from Calgary to Lake Louise took 3 ½ hours due to frequent stops dedicated towards visiting lakes or views off the main highway.

Lake Louise is by far the most famous lake in Banff National Park. In fact, after stopping at Lake Louise Village for lunch at 1:00, no cars except for the ones heading to the hotels by the Lake were allowed to pass at this time. The culling ensured that (a) all car headed down to the lake were able to find parking and (b) the lake wasn’t overcrowded with visitors. Incognizant of this fact at first, soon I realized what the traffic police were talking about. Driving up the narrow road, curvy road, I saw cars parked almost half a mile away

Chateau Lake Louise

from the Lake. Many of these people had probably awaken before the sun to see the Louise. Likewise, public entrance into the Lake wasn’t permitted after 7. This marked a very short, and limited public visitor number each day. Thankfully, I was staying in a hotel so the lake would be of access to me during my whole stay. And that’s when the Chateau Lake Louise pulled into sight. I was amazed, the resort was humongous! But then the Lake pulled into view, and that’s when I my brain really froze.

Of course, being a photographer, my parents and I walked down to the amazing Lake Louise, observing the light-blue water of the lake, blended with the glacier in the center of the landscape. The piece seemed to fit together so perfectly, it was like a miracle! The subtle sound of the gushing water onto the rocks on the shore, the luminous mountains in the background. My breath was taken away by silence.

Yet the next morning of our one night stay, I was once again mesmerized, yet this time by the very different vista of the giant glacier in the morning sunrise. Red, glowing, orange, lurid…amazing. To be completely honest, I was unaware of the how beautiful some places in the world could be. I guess I was kind of caught up in Boston.

Later in sunrise

Earlier in sunrise

July 24-26–Jasper

Jasper is another town, about 3 ½ hours from Lake Louise, and that’s the calculated time for a car ride that has no stops. A non-stop ride was not possible for my family, as the

Peyto Lake, off of highway

road we were traveling on was nominated one of the most beautiful roads in the world. We passed foreboding mountains, and twisted rivers the color of a pale light blue.

In Jasper, we stayed at the Jasper Park Lodge, 18 minutes from downtown. Out of the three towns/cities I visited during this Canadian Rockies trip, I think Jasper was my favorite

Jasper Park Lodge boat rentals on Beauvert

place to visit. Our lodge was located on Lake Beauvert, a non-geometric shaped lake with a tall, glamorous glacier in the scenic view. Our lodge consisted of over a hundred small cabins, surrounding around ⅓ of the lake. I enjoyed my chilly, brisk runs along the trails of the Beauvert in the morning and the sitting on decks above the shore of Beauvert, watching the sunset at night. Truly a wonderful pleasure.

Lake Beauvert

Although Jasper and Lake Louise are both towns in the Canadian Rockies, they both dramatically differ. It’s almost like sensing the difference when you cross the border between two towns in Massachusetts. Jasper seems more connected to the wilderness, with taller, more abundant mountains, and curvy highways, while Lake Louise seemed to be more populated, obtaining a closer resemblance to the city.

My favorite place to visit in Jasper was the Athabasca Falls. My family parked at the top of the canyon-like-gorge, and hiked down to the river. WHAT A VISTA! The color of the rocks, a concoction of yellows, and light oranges reminded me of the Grand Canyon. Yet the main difference was the gushing water and glaciers in the background. The sun was high in the sky, sending a warm azure tone to the water and the trees glowed a brilliant green. I was truly amazed by this painting-like view.

Top of Falls

Bottom of the falls

Halfway down Athabasca

July 27-31– Banff

Being the largest city of those we visited, Banff was also very unique. There was a plethora of wilderness, bears and water. Yet it also had a fair sized downtown, with local and international shops. It was almost like a more mountain focused version of Weston, MA.

Columbia Icefields

The ride from Jasper to Banff would have been about 7? hours, yet my family visited the Columbia Icefields on the way. It is a huge, million year old glacier that sits close to the highway. We took an Ice Explorer (there are only 23 of these machines in the world) up the rocky mountain and finally onto the glacier. What an original view. This marked my first time being on a glacier and surprisingly, it wasn’t as cold as I’d expected. Small streams ran throughout the crevices of the cracked ice and not surprisingly, this was from the slowly melting glacier.

Finally, at around 9 o’clock p.m., my family checked into the famous Banff Springs Hotel, located in the mountains. This historic hotel was built in 1888, and resembled the architecture of a castle. The interior was almost ghostly, too vast. The halls were colossal, adorned with tall small glassed windows and large black and white tiled floors that echoed when you set foot upon them. The lights that flared in the hallways exemplified candles or old-fashioned, dimly lit lanterns.

I think the most notable place we visited in Banff was Emerald Lake, which was 45 minutes away in Yoho National Park (thank you Sophie for recommending this!). Yes, the name says it all, the water appeared like a bluer version of an emerald! We walked a three hour trail along the lake’s circumference, observing the mountains, and the water’s color from different angles. Away from the bedlam of the city, I felt very present and relaxed, observing flowers and taking photos of the lake. We were in the woods, so the extra green added amazing pazzaz. The woods were quiet and only the occasional sound of rustling in the trees could the heard.

Emerald Lake

Emerald Lake

August 8–Boston

I’m sitting in the study room, typing up this post, thinking about my whole trip. A reflection. It lasted nine days, and we visited three different towns/cities. My family explored at least two places each day, so I’ve just highlighted my favorite place(s) from each city. I’ve kept a verbiage journal throughout my whole trip, writing and recording each day.  In retrospect, I know how many places I been around the world, but I think the Canadian Rockies have genuinely made the list of places I’ll never forget. It’s truly an amazement, a realization, and Mother Nature’s miracle.

Note: I took all of these photographs during my trip, and most are very lightly photoshopped, although the colors of the water are generally not altered.

Skunks and Life

     I was running early this Monday morning, when smelled a noisome smell drifting into my space. I looked around, wrinkled my nose, and sniffed the malodorous scent. Smelled like skunk. It incited thoughts about tomatoes. That's when I saw an amorphous black and white shape lolled on the side of the road. A skunk. Dead.

   
     I have a quote to share that exemplifies the skunk's misfortunate ending and hopefully helps us understand our own lives more deeply:

"No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow." ~Euripides

The Olympics and Synergy

August 5, 2016. It’s been a day slowly encroaching upon the world’s population. The 2016, Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro. You could argue the Olympics is a competition against other countries in various sporting events. I agree, yet I also believe that there is a more significant purpose to these events.

Athletes may compete for themselves, yet in a larger, more universal scale, they are competing for their country. When many athletes from one mutual country have the desire and the drive to work together, that country will have a better chance at succeeding in these events. Although I do not believe success is like a pie, where there is a “100%” mark, I do believe that it is not achieved by man himself. He must be work together with others. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens, (which you all know I rave about!) Sean Covey dedicates a whole chapter to the discussion of the importance of synergy. Mathematically incorrect, yet exemplifying universal success, 1+1=3. This is what the Olympics represent for each country.

The Olympics serve yet another greater purpose, beyond the competition, self-integrity of athletes, and synergizing statement within each country. It is one of the few events that involves all major countries and most of the smaller. It is a global event. The Olympics are where the enmity between each country, relating to international relationships, trade etc. are neglected. We tend to forsake the grudges held against other countries. The Olympics are competitions against other countries, synergizing movements, and a major event that brings the whole world together.

Go USA!

Respect

It surprises me. We are taught respect from the second we learn the skills of mastering the use of bathrooms, and from the second we learn how to put on a sock. Respect comes in many forms: internal, external, family etc. It is the act of honoring. It may involve abiding. I can guarantee that there is something to respect almost every second of life. When you wake up, the sun for valiantly peeking through your supposedly “light-proof” curtains. This is

respect for nature. When you lay your head on the pillow, the fact that someone gave you this day. This is respect for your family. When you’re walking on the street, the construction workers who are risking their safety to keep their community ensured. This is external respect for others. When you’re running your first cross-country race, drinking water to stay hydrated. This is self-respect.

We are taught respect from the very beginning of our lives by our parents, then our siblings, then our teachers, our friends, classmates, colleagues, co-workers and so on. Yet we occasionally lose it, accidentally.

On Monday, I was at the outdoor swimming pool, about half a mile from my house, swimming my daily laps. A group of about 10 boys I had known from public school, were stretching the rules of the pool, when the director wasn’t there. Three of them were sliding down the handicap railing on a skateboard into the pool. Four were obsessing over pulling their swim pants really high over their chests and calling each other the next “Victoria’s Secret Angels.” The others were hoarding the baby slide. No, don’t get me wrong…they’re going into eighth grade. Suddenly, unannounced, the director returned, infuriated to see impertinent middle school boys abusing the property of the pool. Still swimming my laps, I heard claims, arguments and finally, a ban from the swimming pool for one day.

These boys clearly forgot what community, self, and external respect meant. They are returning some sense of learning they earned from their parents, teachers, and friends. They

are forgetting, intentionally. And I know this because I obtain a list of things that things are okay to intentionally forget. Respect will never be one.

Silence's Hypocrisy

For those of you wondering why I have not posted since June 20, I was away in the Canadian Rockies. My vacation spanned from June 22 to June 31, and I must recommend you visit if you have not. My family’s trip consisted of travel to four cities/towns, Banff, Jasper, and Lake Louise (the town), stopping through Calgary. In each renown town, Mom, Dad and I visited lakes, mountains, canyons, and hiked. I was amazed by the marvelous views of each and how they differed and related. Our nine day trip sped by like people rushing to their rush-hour interviews, and a post about each location my family visited, with photos, will be coming out (hopefully!) by next Thursday.

Anyhow, an observation I noticed was my reaction to each scene, each landmark, and each view. I can describe it in one word: silence. Coming from a popular city, I virtually felt like walking in a Claude Monet painting within the presented wilderness. And this amazed

Enjoy the silence

me. Prior to my visit to the Rockies, I was unaware of the beauty of Earth. Where it could take me. I visited each of these stunning views, riveted by the greens to blues of the water in the lakes, the structure, form and shades of gray flaunted by the mountains, and how the overall scenes fit together like puzzle pieces. Silence helped me absorb this new information.

Before my trip on June 22, I was planning on spending much of my time sharing stories and new studies with my parents on the hikes, walks, and car drives. Instead, during these nine days, I consciously felt my voice naturally ushered by the beauty of scenes. Sometimes, I felt myself staring at a small, desolate flower in an overwhelming meadow of grass, or other times, at the shadows in the lakes. There was little sound. Just the sound of water lapping onto shores in the vicinity, or the feeling of a light spray of mist from a waterfall. Silence. Just the sound of nature whispering into my ardent ear.

I am thrilled by the various forms silence comes in, the awareness it brings, yet the secrets it conceals. It can be a sign of full absorption of content, full engagement, and authentic interest. I suppose I was never fully as immersed in a single scene in nature as I was this past week. I had never experienced true astonishment. Now I know true astonishment will often times lead to complete silence. Yet when I reflect on history, when I reflect on past incidents in my life, silence can also be a sign of lack of confidence, voice and opinion. These contain secrets. The burning feeling to dissent for women’s rights during the 1900s. The nervous, anxious feeling when passing bullies in the halls and the embarrassment of being discovered at a party. So yes, I am thrilled by silence’s hypocrisy, yet I also immensely appreciate it.

Silence. Say it three times. Pause in between. Let it ring.